Marriage Is Crashing!

Hi everyone,

I'm feeling so confused and suspicious that I'm afraid that it's hurting my marriage. My husband and I still discuss what has happened regarding his co-worker and my sister-in-laws, which apparently doesn't seem that much resolved, at least in my eyes they don't. We still are not communicating with them and I'm not sure if we ever really will...not until I receive an appropriate apology. It just hurts my feelings that my husband's co-worker Julie is still friends with my sister-in-laws despite the fact, that they know how I feel. I was the last to know about this co-worker, which my husband also kept a secret from me therefore, I feel that I have ever right to feel the way I am! Unfortunately, it is taking a toll on our marriage because my husband is tired of hearing me complain or bring up this story, but I feel like there are a lot of questions, which haven't been answered and that I have every right to know. Every time I bring up questions about his co-worker, my husband will ignore the question or will just get really upset. Apparently, she doesn't go to the gym that my husband was going to anymore, but at times, I still feel like I can't trust him. Thoughts are constantly running in my mind and I'm not sure what to do anymore! They both told me nothing has happened and that she is a happily married woman with a family of her own, but if this is the case, why does she have to befriend just about every family member of my husband's? It's funny because she doesn't click like or comment on her own family members Facebook status so therefore, why does she care so much about our family? Perhaps it's just me, but it doesn't make sense and unfortunately, I cannot get it through my husband's thick skull! I'm scared that this will end our marriage, if I cannot snap out of this because I shouldn't have to feel paranoid each time my husband steps out. All sorts of thoughts enter my mind, which I would like to believe are not true, but I can't help it and I would appreciate any suggestions and/or advice! This whole thing is making me feel so depressed and self-conscious, which my husband knows since I expressed this to him! At times, I think that I'm not attractive enough for him, which deep down, I know isn't true because I do get quite a bit of attention just about every time I go out. I just don't get it! We rarely make love anymore and this concerns me! I am 32 going on 33 and we don't have any children yet and when I bring this topic up too he always tells me that it's not the right time...we have been married for 6 years going on 7. So when is the right time? When I'm in my 50's??! Hopefully not!
By the way, yes, he is home every night...he is not the type to go out or stay out at nights or else red flags would be definitely be up! He basically just goes to work and the gym and occasionally, at certain stores. I just want to trust him without encountering any more surprises! Help, help, help!!!
rose0080 rose0080
Jan 11, 2013