Frustrated Newlywed

I never thought in a million years that I would be in the position that I am in. If someone would have told me I wouldn't have believe them. But here I am, I am a newlywed. I have been married for 4 mos. and 7 days and I have a horrible sex life. My husband seems to have ED and claims that it just started in 2012 with me and he has never had this problem before. Sadly to say is I DON'T BELIEVE HIM. I don't believe my husband because it's so severe. I don't believe my husband because it took for me to make him an appointment to find out what it wrong. I don't believe my husband because his nonchalant actions shows otherwise. For example, if I was a man and my stuff has been working and I have never had any problems the minute it stops working I'M CALLING IN THE ARMED FORCES, because we have a problem that needs to get fixed ASAP. He doesn't even get erections when laying in the bed with me and im naked. Which I don't understand because strangers screw all the time without emotional attachment let alone affection needing to take place. I have been telling him to go see a Primary care physician for over 6 mos and he just now made an appointment. I guess what I am trying to express is that with his slowness of trying to get things fixed it seems as though he has been dealing with this issue and it's no biggie to him. Over the course of us dating I expressed deeply that sex is a major deal to me. Now we chose to do things the right way and not engage in pre-marital sex of course I tested it out to make sure the package was good and it was. But I did find it strange how he was okay with the fact of not engaging in sex, some men after testing it out is like oh well we have already done the deed LOL. It's almost as if he was hiding behind the whole idea of doing things the right way. So here we are 4 mos and 7 days in and I am contemplating leaving! I don't think that I can live like this. Our sex life is based on how he's feeling and when and if he can perform. I was celibate for almost 2 years, met him and now that I have said I do I feel like I am being punished. I was getting more **** (excuse the language) when I was single. I feel like my conjugal rights have been ******** of me. But don't be confused because I know it's not me my Stuff works and is alive. I'm so horny I think my Va G G has a heartbeat. We are newlyweds we should be going at it like jackrabbits but im lucky if I get some once in a week. I think what really ****** me off is while doing some reading and research there are a lot of stereotypical articles out there that paint a picture as if "US WIVES" don't like sex?? That is such a LIE! I love sex, Sex is a beautiful thing between a married man and woman. But when you don't have that connection your relationship is being set up for failure because growth as a couple can not take place. The bond can't grow, and becoming "One Flesh" isn't taking place either. I figure writing about it will be a good outlet because I am sexually frustrated in so many ways and I am thinking things a married woman should not be thinking. Is there anyone else going through this? I am opened to your thoughts!

InquiringMinds247 InquiringMinds247
26-30, F
2 Responses Jan 17, 2013

Since i wrote that, me and my husband have been studying and praying, we have became alot closer, i now see it as we are strong and will be in years to come,( even tho i new that), it is confirmed. i now know its becaus we was'nt talking to God. i have been asking God to cover us and to be honest things are picking up, if i remember right you to are christian, and do you believe in the power of prayes as i believe its God that is helping us along, we are slowly getting there, hope this helps and please keep me informed x

I'm really happy to hear that things are working out for you. Yes I am christian and yes I do believe in the power of prayer!! My husband is Christian as well. Im not trying to be funny by no means but unless God Blesses my husband with a new penis and unless my Husband allows God to renew his mind this marriage will be a bumpy ride and I don't think it's worth the motion sickness I will be recieving from this ride!! But I am so happy that you guys are doing better GOD Speed!!

Hi i thought i would let you know that your not the only couple that is going through this.
Sorry i can't add any advice.
We too chose not to have pre-marrital sex and ithink it was the worse decision we have ever made since we have only had sex four or five times in two years. I am thinking of devoice now.
Please if you recieve any information that works. (Can helps your marrige) let me know.