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Sexually Deprived

hi everybody, I'm married for 5 years, we have 2 young children. my husband is always to tired or to stressed for time with me. i have a high sex drive and his is low, when we do actually have sex he doesn't last longer than a few seconds so I'm constantly frustrated. Ive tried toys Ive tried talking to him Ive tried everything. i have not cheated on him but I'm finding my daily thoughts being drawn to other men, Ive even caught myself flirting. I'm only 27 and i cant live the rest of my life like this. please help me before i put my marriage in jeopardy.

amyanita amyanita 26-30, F 12 Responses Sep 17, 2009

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I can't believe there are so many lonely people living together in a unsatisfying marriage. I thought I was the only one.

no its not just you , my wife and i havent had sex for over 3 years it could be more i cant remember,we dont kiss cuddle hug or anything

I kind of have the same situation. We've been married for 3 years which is very short period of time. As a man I have a very high sex drive. I make her *** atleast twice when we make love but her sex drive is so low that she just lays down there taking everything and gives me back nothing. I love oral but she doesn't. Everytime we talk about this she gets so defensive.She doesn't wanna try anything new. Because she doesn't wanna learn it from anywhere. She is mormon and thinks that learning from any other resource is taboo. Please help me here! I love her to death I want to save my marriage.

I'm a 42 year old woman and im in the marriage for 16 years my husband has been depriving me of sex for the past 9 months.<br />
We dont communicate now as i dont like him brushing me off whenever i tried to talk . We dont go for lunch or dinner together as he dont really like it but i like my husband to accompany me as hes a retiree. maybe due to the loneliness im facing i'm into a emotional affair with a man. We didnt have sex but i enjoy talking to him and going out with him which makes me feel different.<br />
Now i realise i have no feelings for my husband anymore cos as i'm writing this message i get more angry thinking of it.

I'm a 42 year old woman and im in the marriage for 16 years my husband has been depriving me of sex for the past 9 months.<br />
We dont communicate now as i dont like him brushing me off whenever i tried to talk . We dont go for lunch or dinner together as he dont really like it but i like my husband to accompany me as hes a retiree. maybe due to the loneliness im facing i'm into a emotional affair with a man. We didnt have sex but i enjoy talking to him and going out with him which makes me feel different.<br />
Now i realise i have no feelings for my husband anymore cos as i'm writing this message i get more angry thinking of it.

I am at the point of cheating to get what i need. My fiancee looks at women constantly. Is always on **** sites on his phone. He now deletes the history since he figured out that i seen it. So, obviously he likes ***. But he makes me feel like sex with me is a chore. I have a high sex drive, would do anything in bed. Very kinky and he is by far the most boring man in bed i have ever been with. Never lasts more than 10 min. Never performs oral sex on me. Never initiates it. I have nothing against him checking out **** sites but why isin't he into me that much....for the record, i am hot. Men are constantly coming on to me. And my fiancee is always asking to cover my cleavage. Very frustrated and slowly losing all self esteem. He would rather ********** to ****.....which by the way although i want him to, he never does with me.

I am a 32 year old man, a husband and a father of a 3 year old boy...My wife and I have never been intimate for almost six moths. it kills me and makes me wanna go on separation. I love her to death but i think she ignores me too much. i don't feel like talking to her about this because she gets too defensive and abrupt every time i talk to her about anything... she gets mad easily and raise her voice to me easily. i don't think i can never talk to her about anything specially our sexual problems. I dont know if she cheated on me or has been cheating. i just wanna know because i am loosing my mind. i am loosing my self confidence and i feel small in many ways. Please send me some advice because i don't know what to do. I love her very much with all my heart and soul but i think i wont last for long! i am writing this right now because i can't talk to her and all of my friends are her friends too T-T

God i feel like you are living my life. My man gets so defensive when i bring up sex and his **** watching that i am physically scared of him. His behaviour is making me feel ripped off in the bedroom. I figure that if he's getting it from ************, why would he want it from me? I don't think 5 or 6 times a month is enough. Considering that the total time spent is approximately 30-40 min....

I know how you feel. We have been married for 5 years also and for 1.5 of those years we have not had ANY sex. I have been very frustrated!

i know my husband loves me i also know he hates dissapointing me. he does know how to please me in other ways but sometimes i want more, i told him how i felt yesterday and was a little more understanding to him being tired. he cant help the premature *********** and is very shy to get help about it, the more foreplay we have the quicker he ****. maybe i need to tone down i mean im quiet an animal in bed, maybe im the reason he doesnt last. i dont know.

I've always heard that if you have good sex in your marriage, it's 10% of your relationship. But if you have bad or no sex it's 90%. I think theres some truth in that so I feel your pain. Some things you might try, if you drink, a glass or two of wine might help your mans' lasting powers. It works really well on my man. He might have some performance issues and be afraid of disappointing you so you could try teaching him how to satisfy you in ways other than intercourse, if he's open to it. maybe try some sexy flirting with him without any physical stuff and see if he gets his own ideas. And I hate to say this but if he's not receptive to you at all and wont help you work this out then you may have bigger problems than you think. Good luck, I hope it works out well.

thank you for your advice, i do give him a break i dont pressure him into sex. infact if i dont initiate it he wont either and ive stopped initiating it. he has premature *********** everytime it does happen and i try to tell him its ok but he feels bad so he would rather just not do it. i cant talk to him about it and i cant pursuade him to get help he just wont listen. i love him i really do but i feel stuck

thank you for your advice, i do give him a break i dont pressure him into sex. infact if i dont initiate it he wont either and ive stopped initiating it. he has premature *********** everytime it does happen and i try to tell him its ok but he feels bad so he would rather just not do it. i cant talk to him about it and i cant pursuade him to get help he just wont listen. i love him i really do but i feel stuck

Honestly the whole give him a break idea is stupid, I experience your pain. I also have a high sex drive and my wife (since we've been married) has pathetically low sex drive. So I guess what I'm saying is that I hate your husband because he's lucky enough to have a women with high sex drive while I stay constantly unsatisfied. I just want you to know I feel your pain.

i understand that its hard for but try looking at from your husbands point of view hes working and when he comes home ? try giving him a break tell no sex for a week just hugs n kisses let him chill coz then maybe he'll be more able