Very Unhappy In Marriage

I feel like I'm in a trap. I got married 2 yrs back and came to this country (US). he is such a weirdo that I can't even explain. he never says anything nice to make me feel good about myself,never compliments or says I love you. he always is bitter towards me, always  finds some mistakes. on top of that he always turn down my offer to have sex, and he always approaches me when I am sleeping,I don't even feel anything when he has sex with me.

I am totally dependent on him financially and morally, so I don't know what to do. I don't have any hopes for love. however I can't deny that he pays for my school and other things, but he acts like I'm nobody,i don't exist and my happiness doesn't count. and in this country where I hardly have any friends,I don't see any chance of carrying on with my life. I am only waiting for my education to finish , but sometimes I feel so frustrated and mad that I want to leave everything and go back home, but what will i do , if i went back home without anything in my hand, what will i say to my parents?? I don't want to go home cause life will be very very difficult explaining 'em what happened,,my life sucks here..... I always dreamed of someone caring and romantic,someone who loved me for who I am , not be compared and left unnoticed..

He never bothers to wish me on occasions,  didn't wish me on Valentine's day nor on the anniversary or gave me anything on my b'day. every time we go out, he can't help saying "wow,that chick is hot" or turn his head to complement.

 

I used to think I am pretty but not anymore. i have lost all my pride,my individuality ,my ego ..my everything. from someone , i am become no body......

prettypricky prettypricky
26-30, F
2 Responses Feb 17, 2010

I bet you are pretty. My marriage isn't much better...however it is messed up in different ways. Don't let him get you down. I bet you anything there's tons of guys that see you how you used to see yourself and would love to take you out and buy you gifts and make you feel special. Your family would understand if you told them this guy made you unhappy so you left.

dear. i am a strong believer that we get what we allow to be done to us . <br />
you are dependent on him moraly ?? why/? no one should dictate your morality . it should come from inside of you your soul . and money wise if you are going to school and that is where your dependency is so there is a hope in the end of the tunnel soon you can start packing. you can make it on your own with a job and support network . <br />
you are beautiful not because he thinks so or doesnt think so . ( his intentntion may just be to lower your self esteem so much to make you feel exactly as you feel now . so i dont know how old you are empower yourself , your thoughts your fantasies are yours and he cant touch them . aim to make it in school and close the door behind you to meet another life you diserve . good luck