Overpowering Emotions

i am so emotional that i find myself different and weird.I get hurt and disturbed even by the slightest of things.I am not able to flush out bad memories at all.They say time heals everythin but for me it's exactly the opposite.Even the slightest and the tiniest of things happen to affect my feelings big time. and i remain disturbed for long periods of time.I am never able to move on with things.I remain stuck.Many a times i can literally feel the gush of emotions inside me.Just as the waves of water get high and low by hitting the shores,same happens with me,,it's just that feelings replace the waters.I have always been a loner throughout my life and can't see myself changing even though i've tried really really hard to change myself.I seriously believe that i m the loneliest person on the planet.I have never ever been able to mingle with people around me,,it doesn't mean that i hate them but it's just that i can't be one of them even if i try.My thought process has never been like others of my age.i just can't live in the moment.I just can't enjoy my time.I just can't go out and have fun.I t doesn't mean that i don't want to do all these things,,yeah i want to do them .I want to be crazy but i just can't.I always keep my feelings stuffed inside me.I have been like this ever since i care to remember.I remain in a constant state of depression.It never seems to go away.This does not mean that i am a boring person.Yes,i agree,most of the time i am very quiet and incredibly shy but when i want i can become totally a different person who is all juvenile and stuff.It's like a switch that goes on and off but the working of that switch is not in my power.But most of the time that switch remains off.Due to these problems,,living itself is very traumatizing for me .When emotions are really running high,,i find it difficult to even breathe,,,yeah,,i literally find it difficult to breathe.I find it difficult to live like normal people and doin things randomly like robots without actually realizing what are they doin,,,,I hope things get better for me someday,,,,,
deleted deleted
26-30
1 Response Sep 24, 2012

i read what you say, and feel your sadness and understand your dilemma. Being highly emotional, i found life sometimes unbearable, but it has got better with time.
in the end, you have a gift, which is a double edged sword, as you are so sensitive, but you will have much to offer this world.