Lovechild

I have read the stories in this group... i may not fit the category haha but this is me:

1) I read and search for knowledge. I believe knowledge is power and the way you present yourself (the way you speak, stand, act, your facial expressions, vocabulary, knowledge, etc.) can manipulate the way people around you act, thus having some controll in situations.

2) I actively preform social experaments (dressing like a druggie and walk through walmart while i analyze the way people around me interact with me and the environment, dress like a good little christian girl and do the same thing but a week or two later, tell people a random lie then later tell them the truth in such a way that their trust in me is instantly regained, etc)

3) I like to sit in the front of class because:
a) the people in the back talk loudly and laugh when nothing is even funny.
b) in the front i don't have to look at the people in the class.
c) i can hear the teacher better over the other students.
d) it gives the impression that i am eager to learn and value what the teacher has to say, thus the teacher usually is more leenient when it comes to deadlines.

4) Nobody notices me, sometimes it is annoying, like when i have been standing in a circle of "friends" and like a half hour later they say "Woa! Where did you come from?"

Okay, here comes the semi-depressing part :(

1) when i was 4 my great grandfather passed, it was scarring because he had cancer and Alzheimers, my grandpa kept telling him that is was me that my name was ######, but he couldn't remember. My grandpa almost cried, i emulate him, he is my faveorite person and he rarely cries, but when he saw his dad in that state he almost slipped. That fact was bad because he is my role model.

2) when i was about two or three years older, i snuck near the kitchen because i heard my mom and dad fighting, when i got there i saw my mom fall on her face on the floor crying, i knew it was my dad, i spun around and ran into my room. Later the poliece arrived and i watched my dad get arrested for domestic abuse.

3) when i was in about third grade my dad came up to me and said that he had to leave, that my mom was making him (well she was but thats because he kept cheating on her) I was young and thought that if i suddenly got bad grades and developled bad eating and sleeping habits that my parents would realize that I was upset and they would get back together. I was pretty much incapable of getting bad grades, we eat at a dinner table and if we didn't eat we got a wipping, and my sleeping habits were on a body clock. So that didn't work.

4) Not long after that i tried to kill myself i think it was a cry for attention but i dont remember, all i knew was i was gonna do it. I got caught.

5) My dad had two more kids and got married to another woman, he became a drunk and punched a lot of walls ( i wish he would hit a support beam)

6) He defends his "wife" and when i said something bad he carried me by my arm and threw me on a chair telling me that id better behave. Stupid.

7) I have heard parents fight since i was small and if anyone ever fights i almost break down in tears.

So yah thats a small portion of me.
LoveChild14 LoveChild14
18-21, F
Nov 28, 2012