Reconnecting With A Lost Love

I found an old boyfriend a year ago on the Internet. We immediately felt the same strong connection from our college days, and started an on line relationship that has continued to this day. Love getting the emails from him and hearing about his life, his thoughts. When we first started communicating, the conversation became very personal and sexual. We arranged a get together and he came to Pa from New York and we had a glorious weekend together, and still had the attraction and an intense pull toward each other. No strings attached. He is married and I am divorced.

I do believe he felt conflicted and probably guilty, things cooled after about 7-8 months of daily emailing and occasional phone calls. Well, it is getting to be that time when I really want to see him again, a reunion of sorts, same kind of get together. We share a strong love of music, and brought our Ipods and shared our music. It was magical. When I broached the subject of reuniting, he didn't say yes, but didn't say no either. 'Let's see how things play out" is what he said. I think he is wrestling with the decision. Don't know much about his marriage, he doesn't discuss it. He seems very together and knows his own mind.

Should I continue the relationship? I get great pleasure from him, I feel alive again after a not so great 20 year marriage which left me shattered and broken. I had no desire to date again and have been flying solo for a few years since the divorce. Now I have this "soul mate" connection, even though it is primarily an emotional relationship and he is married. My life will be empty again if I let him go.

When we last spoke on the phone, a week ago, we had so much fun laughing and enjoying each others company. So, I know it is still there, that feeling, that mutual attraction, that "soul mate" thing.

Any advice would be so much appreciated. Should i let him go or continue our fantasy affair?

joaniej231 joaniej231
56-60, F
Mar 11, 2010