Emotionally Unstable!

I really need to just get everything out. I mean that is what this site is about, right? I really don't care if no one reads this or comments but I need to get it all out of my head before I go to sleep.

First, I am PMSing. It's horrible. I feel like I am pregnant (but I assure you, I am not). I am always hungry and I eat random things at random times. I am tired. I wake up not rested and I don't know what to do with myself. This happens for two weeks before my period. It is incredibly annoying. I also can not concentrate. I read something without understanding what I just read. I hate that. I love reading fiction, but when I can't focus on it, it is no fun. Ok, I am done with that.. well, kind of. I keep wanting to burst into tears and I have these annoying mood swings. I don't really know how to describe how I feel most of the time.

Next, I don't know what to do with myself. Ever have that feeling that you are not doing something important but you don't know what you can do that IS imporant. I love being on this site, but I feel like I am doing no good sitting on the internet. I feel like everything I do is a waste of time these days. I can do nothing worthwhile. I want to save the world.

College... HAHAHA. I go to college next year and I want it to happen sooner, but I am not totally content with my college choice. I got accepted and decieded to go to this really nice college, but I thought I would feel more excited about it. I thought I would know for sure if I wanted to go to a college. There would be no doubt that it was right. Now, I feel like I should apply to other schools. BUT I know I should go to this school, but it's not as pretty as Princeton or Yale. With my ACT scores, I could never go there, but that was my orginal plan. I felt like I would be somebody smart or brillent if I made it to Princeton. I could finally make myself proud. I don't feel proud of myself for making it into this college. I feel like an average student who got lucky. I don't feel like the star student I thought I was/wanted to be. So I am sitting crying, because I finally realize my problem with this whole college thing.. I am scared of not living up to my own standards. I want to feel like I have accomplished something I thought I could never do. I don't want to let myself down. I don't want to fail myself. I want to prove that I can do it, but I can't. I can't get the scores to get into Ivies.. My last ACT was 20. My GPA is 3.9. I have put so much into being the best and achiving the all-time dream of getting accepted into Princeton, I don't want to let it go. But I have to if I want to be happy.

Sorry for making this so long..

SavedByGrace14 SavedByGrace14
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 11, 2007

1. Maybe you could try exercising for your PMS. It seems to fix everything PMS-related! <br />
2. I don't know much about the American education/scoring system, but I'd like to put my two cents worth in! => I used to be a total perfectionist with my grades as well, locking myself in my room when I scored a 76 on a math test. Then as some things got progressively harder and harder, I realised that it was too damaging to keep my standards at a level that was too high for me to reach. I was so far from reality - constantly trying to do everything perfectly, and then falling into a pitless gloom when I "failed". It's important for you to set goals for yourself, so that you have something to work towards, but *achievable* ones. I've learnt that setting sky-high goals may sound very nice in theory, but when it only makes you depressed with your results, it isn't worth it. Also, you seem to have so much determination in you to succeed! Don't let your fears overwhelm and stop you from actively trying your best. You clearly have much to offer the world. =>