I Don't Understand Myself

For years I've been trying to sort out my sexuality.

I am a woman and I am sexually attracted to men, but when it comes to the "emotional" aspect of romantic relationships with men, I just can't do it. I've dated some really great guys, but I just can't do it! I feel the need to shut down and run away. And although I can have sexual relationships with men, when its all said and done I just want them to leave and to leave me alone.

However, with women it is completely different, I am able to connect with women deeply on an emotional level and I love it. The problem is I often develop these intense relationships with women that, for me, turn into sexual attractions. But it doesn't always translate that way for them... :(. I've noticed a pattern, where I develop an super intense relationship with a woman and it is borderline sexual, but when it comes right down to it, it just doesn't happen. And it usually ends badly. But at the same time, I've slept with women that I had no emotional attachments to and I kind of feel the same way I feel after I sleep with men.

I don't know how I feel! Am I truly attracted to men, or is it just because I feel that it was what society tells me I should be attracted to? But am I really even truly attracted to women? I don't know :(
PM1987 PM1987
Jan 21, 2013