Confusing CrushSo, I just needed to vent my frustration & confusion over my current situation... I broke it off with my former fiancee a few weeks ago. I was halfway out of love with him anyway, so I got over that part pretty quickly, though I know I'm not up for a real relationship again for a while. That said, I have a HUGE crush on one of my friends, and have had for the last couple of months. I'm horrible at keeping things in, & with my fiancee out of the picture, it was hard to keep it under wraps...Finally I couldn't hold it in anymore, and told him about it last night, and got a really confusing reaction from him...
I think I totally caught him off guard. He's got some emotional stuff he's gotta deal with, & as a result he's officially taken himself off the market...so I was expecting him to turn me down for a date. But me & him are friends, & get along smashingly; some of our friends think we'd be great together & that we're really flirty when we hang out... in fact, one of them told me he's sure it'd happen, it's just a matter of time. So I was hoping the thought had at least crossed his mind.
So I was all like, "You know, when you're feeling better about all the stuff you're going through & you're ready to date again... well, you should give me a call."
And he was like, "... I'll keep you in mind". Then he goes on about how he's not relationship material right now, and he's got emotional baggage & whatnot... I tell him I know, but I can't help liking him anyway, & that I have for 2 months & couldn't hold it in anymore. Then he says "You had a thing for me for 2 months? I had no idea. I wasn't giving off signals or anything, was I? Not really? Okay.... " & he's gotten used to thinking of me as a friend & would have to shift gears... cuz his friends are over here, and girlfriends are over there....then he's like, "I feel really bad, here I've taken myself off the market & you're all like.... Wow. Yeah, I feel pretty bad, kinda like that time that girl came to see me from out of town, & I wasn't interested & had to turn her down. I feel really bad....but, I'll definitely make a point of hanging out with you more from now on....." and I was like, "But, isn't that just stringing me along?" And he was like, "No, no, not at all....." then I was kind of in this stunned, confused silence for a minute... then he goes,".......So, we're going with the D&D group to a lake this weekend? That'll be cool hey?" Then his bus came, & he asked me for a hug, & gave me a really huge hug.
Yeah. I have no idea what to think about that. MOST CONFUSING REACTION IN THE WORLD.
So here I am- plans & dreams gone, no more fiancee (which is a good thing under the circumstances). 2 weeks in to my life of singleness, I've got a couple guys knocking on my door already... but the one guy I actually want that way is confusing the heck out of me. It's so disappointing.
firefly128 26-30, F 0 Jun 22, 2011