The Older I Get The Sadder I Get

I just had a birthday a couple of days ago. You would think I was looking forward to it but U would be wrong. I actually didn't want to think about it..I tried very hard to think it was just a normal day. ..I didn't want to think about how old I am and the many things I haven't done. There are so many things I want to do before I die and half of them I will probably never be able to do..Either it's because I can't because of health reasons, money wise, or just because I know my hubbie would never agree to do them..I stopped looking forward to my birthday because I always get disappointed. Either someone gives me something I truly don't need and then I think if you truly knew me you would know what I would like or my hubbie doesn't plan anything. Or he yells at me and truly makes me feel crappy. He hates giving me cards even though time and again I tell him it doesn't really matter what he likes It's my birthday and u should give me what I want..I think u should feel loved on your birthday and Usually it doesn't feel that way. Remember when U were young and U could count on your birthday being good. When you get older it seems people truly don't really care well that's how I feel anyways....You are supposed to feel special..I spent half of my birthday alone which is the worst thing ever!! Eventually though my son did come home from his grandma's and it got better:) I feel my life is just stagnant like I rarely get excited about anything..I want to really enjoy my life and this just isn't the case...
AthenaRose AthenaRose
31-35, F
2 Responses Jul 29, 2010

i don remember any good bday's when i was younger ..<br />
i think the same as spicyparadox ''happiness lies within u'' ...it can b hard to find somethin to feel happy,excited sometimes but it needs patience-sometimes a lot patience- but ..i don think we r supposed to feel special only one day.....but everyday should b special..that every year that passes by should b filled with good love..<br />
whoever treats u bad ..im sorry ...u deserve to feel loved*many hugs*

hmmm....sweetheart ....enjoy yourself on your birthday..try to find the happiness ..i believe happiness lies within you...so whosoever is there just enjoy with them..and whose over is not there ..it is their mistake that they are missing the best moments of their life ..that is the moments with you..consider yourself to be special...hugs