I Didn't Know Such A Thing Existed

I'd always thought it was normal, the way my mom talked to me. I'd always picked at my skin and because of hyper-pigmentation dark spots would be left behind, but it didn't bother me, I'd learned to accept it as a part of who I was.

It started with, "you're so stupid, you'll make yourself ugly" and from there it just escalated to "you look like a dalmatian are you satisfied now?"

I couldn't help it though, really. Now I'm beginning to realize that my picking is a real disorder, and all she did was berate me for it.

Things got worse though. As I grew older I became more self conscious about my body image.

"You'd better get on the treadmill if you ever expect to have a boyfriend."

My picking escalated, to my face at this point.

"Way to go, you look like a hamburger."

Nothing hurt worse. But I kept it to myself because I couldn't explain my problems to anyone and I knew they'd just tell me to suck it up. This was normal right?

No, it wasn't.

Most recently it was "You look like a sausage in those pants."

But the most painful was, "Maybe if you finally got laid you'd stop being such a ***** all the time."

I finally talked to a professional about it and it was a shock to me when I realized this wasn't normal, that being sent down to the basement to eat alone because my mom 'didn't want to see or have to talk to me' didn't happen to every other kid.

At this point though the damage is done. I just hope I can box it up and hide it away so I can move past it.

This feels insignificant in comparison to many of your stories but it does hurt, a lot.

Lyxie Lyxie
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 12, 2010

There is nothing insignificant about this abuse or the way it makes you feel. I don't know what is wrong with your mother or why she treats you in this manner but it is anything but OK to treat your daughter this way. I can not imagine my mother saying something like that to me, or my talking to one of my sons in that manner. <br />
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You need to talk to someone about this. You need to believe that it is not alright and you absolutely do not deserve this treatment.