Am I In the Wrong?

After my wife and I got married she brought my mom and I back closer together.  We had not talk much since I had moved out. I was always getting in to trouble and she was always screaming at me about something. It was just easier to leave.

I ran into a women I grew up with about three weeks ago.  To make a long conversation short we talked forever about the old days.  I could not believe how much of my younger days I had forgotten. I  had just the bad memorys stored in my mind.

For the next few days  I was feeling great.  Then I started to feel guilty about the ways I had acted as a child to my mom.  I started a list of things I was going to tell her I was sorry for. Then some old thoughts entered my mind.  Some guilty stuff I had forgot about.  But, as I processed them though my mind now, I see them a new way.  My mind recoiled  from them for a while to keep from getting sick.  The things I remember are transfering into my marriage.

I am not talking about sex.  I do not think that happen. I do not know if it started happening during or only after my father left.  I was scared to death back then.

I think the following crossed the line and there is more but I do not think anyone wants details...... I think it is.  To keep it vauge,  I mean things like,kissing me on my neck and ears while watching tv. When she or we were in a hurry see would run though house in her bra and panties.  When I was 7 and I broke my leg she insisted on helping me go to the bathroom and unzipping my pants and the rest telling me that she could not afford to have my leg reset again or we would not have money for food so I just delt with it.  There were things like making me change my bathing suit in the car after swimming lessons because we had to pick up my brother soon so he would not be locked out and alone.  No wonder I forgot so much of my past.  I want to talk to a councilor but I want to talk to a women not a guy. I just feel like that would make the councilor uncomfortable.  Do you?


 

riplane riplane
31-35, M
Aug 5, 2007