Love Dies...

It has been a difficult one. Some up's many downs. After three years and so many break ups, we are now together... I think. Recently the business part of the "relationship" is at full throttle. Everything else is just plane ku-put. The only physical contact is sex.. and thats it. We do not go out together, we do not do anything. We rarely even see each other and all the while I have to think "what am I getting from all this?" Sure, he keeps me on track with my priorities, helps me, and gives me "advise," but that's it. I feel that I am forgetting what a real relationship is like. I have had one before. The difference between that old relationship and by current one is like day and night. When I am with him, I do not feel loved or even liked, I do not feel comfortable, and often I feel offended and neglected by his absent mind. Our nights usuall look something like this.

He walks in the door. Sets down his things. Puts things away, says "hi"
He plays with our son for a few and then asks questions like...
"Did you make that call today?" "how much money do you have saved?" "why don't you listen to my advise?" "Did you get your schedule yet?" "What do you have to do tomorrow?" "when are you going to go see the doctor about birth control?"
and then comes the advise...and more questions
"you need to write all this down" "you need to call them" " you are neglecting our son by taking criminal justice instead of nursing" "you ruined your body by getting that tattoo" " you'll have to pay a lot to get that removed" "you should eat more healthy" "did you work on those articles?" " I told you that you need to do that every day" "give me a bj!"

You know, I have to be honest. When he is around I do as less as possible in order to keep him from asking me a new set of questions and making jerk comments at me. He ALWAYS has a problem with something and everything I do. Nothing I do is right, I can't even decide for myself ever without talking to him first.. and when I do talk to him first.. there is still a problem!

Bottom line. It's wearing thin between us. I am starting to wonder if I even love him anymore....... I really don't know if I do or not. I know I care about him and his safety, but love? hmmm tough question. After someone treats you like their bed buddy/ business partner for a year, naturally, the love dies. I am proof of that.
xFrostyx xFrostyx
26-30, F
2 Responses Jul 26, 2010

i understand completely wat u mean...!!!!bt i really think u shud try talkin 2 him ..!

Have you tried talking to him about any of this? Also you seem like you are very passive. I am guessing you are busy but some of those things sound like they do not take much time to do in the day. Also I dont know if he would be ok with it, but have you talked about your feelings for a connection and about how uncared and unloved you feel? I dont know how he would take things if you asked him but maybe you guys could see about talking to each other about these things and work something out between the two of you. Like with all the questions that he asks you, I am guessing you feel like he is nagging at you. I would see about having him write a list and you check things off as you do them so he does not need to ask all the time, and tell him you do not like to be asked questions all the time. I have heard that some difficult to talk to men become easier to talk to after they get "relived" in bed kind of thing. I think you need to talk to him some how and let him know you are another person not something to go home to and integrate. That is what I got from what you said.