my problem is the girls that i find attractive are the hot girls, the ones everyone finds attractive, therefore i have no chance, since girls like that know that they have their pick of the guys.  no cute girl is going to lower their standards to be with a fat loser like me.  maybe if i was rich and famous, id have a better chance, but im not.  i know, i know, ive heard all that crap about just finding a girl who is beautiful on the inside, and i want that, but whats wrong with wanting to find a girl who is just as pretty on the inside as she is on the outside.   and its not like i only want supermodel quality girls.  she wouldnt have to be drop dead gorgeous, just cute, that would be awesome.  ive tried dating sites.  e-harmony said they have no matches for me, no body responded to me on match dot com, and all the other sites seemed to only have overweight single mothers looking for daddies for their little brats.  i just want a cute, good, committed girl, but i guess thats just too much to ask.

zebunomicon zebunomicon
31-35, M
5 Responses Dec 14, 2008

I want to be with you. I'm a model, my IQ is 158, and I organize a charity for homeless youth.

I just want an intelligent and talented boyfriend who has a lust for life and is willing to get high as **** with me. Weight is not an issue, however style is.

i get what your saying. <br />
i would be fine with starting out as friends, in fact that would be awesome. but chicks already have friends, and even want their guy friends to be studly, funny, and attractive or whatever. and i dont want a superskinny girl, i just dont want a whale.

The problem is based off of three things. You, the women, and society.<br />
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1. You, yourself have much too low of self-esteem which effects the way girls look at you. They want someone who is proud of who they are and if you think you have a weight problem others are gonna point it out too. Also you apparently have set the standards to high your idea of cute may be what others would think of as gorgeous. Plus a lifelong companionship doesn't start with external, it starts with internal, chances are the person you will be with for the rest of your life is gonna be a close friend before it ever turns into something serious. Physical is only 10% of the actual equation.<br />
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2. The girls you sound like you are probably, and they might say they aren't but deep down, are superficial. They want someone that they think will look good in the worlds eyes next to them but may not be happy themselves. They are only dating them because they want to be accepted. In order to prove to one of the girls you like that you may be the one for them you are gonna have to come into the relationship (as I have said before) as a friend. Not expecting anything more. This proves to the ladies that you aren't in it for the sex but for an actual deep and meaningful relationship that doesn't require them to have to work for your attention and affection it just is there.<br />
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3. Society as a whole has set their standards too high for everyone, especially women. We have to be SUPER skinny, we can't have flaws, and we have to be good at EVERYTHING we do. Men have been set a little lower but still quite high. Men have to be buff and strong and rich to get the ideal woman that may or may not exist. We, people aren't made from cookie cutters, we have flaws, imperfections, and little things that make us all different and unique. We are ashamed because society says to be. But if you aren't ashamed of your flaws and you find women who aren't either I am sure you will be a lot happier with who you end up seeing as attractive.<br />
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Hope this helped if it didn't I'm sorry.

I feel your pain. Only my problem starts with even meeting the girls I find attractive. While physical attraction isn't everything I just can't seem to meet people. I don't like online dating sites since it seems that they smell of desperation and even though I'm desperate to share my life with someone I don't think they work, especially in the long run. I've gone on dates with beautiful women but it seems the more the get to know me the less they want to. I would consider myself a somewhat attractive male, a little on the thin side and maybe not as muscular as most women want...but I have a high metabolism and no matter what i try I can't gain weight..even with weight's really is.. Every girl I'm interested in is already in the best relationship ever with the best boyfriend in the world and then when their hearts get broken all men are suddenly dogs...that is until they meet another jerk off that they fall for...why can't women fall for the good guys. Why don't they like me? whats wrong with me?

You sound awfully picky for someone who classifies himself as a 'fat loser'. Cute girls want the same thing you want- a cute guy. Go to the gym, buy some new clothes, step up your hygiene ritual, and try to do something with your life that makes you feel proud instead of loser-ish. When you feel better about yourself, the ladies will start feeling better about you, too.