Perception Can Be A Curse!

There is nothing worse then being both extremely perceptive and a hyper-sensitive teenage girl!
Although I'm 19 and in university now, school was *the worst* possible place for someone like me- when I was a tween I was admittedly geeky/chubby and picked up on EVERY single bitchy little look or tone of voice behind mocking classmates- these moments STILL haunt me. Then as I grew up and became attractive, I was hyper aware of any male attention towards me, and bitter about it, because it was all based upon superficiality of my new-found surface looks. I was the same person inside >:(

And it wasn't just with other teenagers either, I could/can easily figure out an adult's mood/personality type/characteristics/motive during a basic conversation. Perception is a plague if you are hyper-sensitive. I imagine it must be quite useful if you can let other people's comments (both the said and unsaid) slide off you, because it can be a useful trait for controlling/manipulating people.

I remember doing the Morrisby Testing in school, and my Perceptual ability was off the charts (literally, the line was bursting through the graph!). It was quite satisfying to see the proof on paper, as I was never sure if it was just me or if I really did notice more then most.

As I've grown older I've learnt how to use my ability more positively, although it has affected a lot of areas of my life.
I unfortunately pick up on and (unintentionally) focus in on my loved ones negative traits, and friends often use me as their personal psychiatrist to the point that they end up falling out with me- they beg me to give them critical insight which they insist they can handle (they can't, but stubbornly pester me until i spill) and then like a friggen Pandora's box, once it's out it just eats away at their core and they eventually end up resenting, even hating me :(
Worst is that I suppose I'm just as likely to pick up on my own shortcomings, and this sort of neurosis plagues upon my self-deprecating mind. (Although when it comes to the self, the solution is never as clear as it is for others.)

Anyone else feel similarly?
sweetvisage sweetvisage
26-30, F
6 Responses Aug 2, 2010

Thanks. Totally needed to hear this from someone who can understand me. Yes. Being highly perceptive can help others but do harm to yourself. I get it. Finally.

I feel the same way. I'm a 21 year old male but still struggle with not only noticing things that others don't as well has a self condemning mind. It is getting slowly easier to deal with though and I feel at some point it will become a strength. I am doing crisis counseling now and finding that it helps use my perception an empathy for good. Thanks for the post

I think what I have is somewhat similar to yours. Except when I just look at someone or in the same room, I can tell exactly what all of them are feeling and what kind of person they are. For example this one time my sisters' boyfriend came over and i instantly disliked him. I tried to explain this to my mom but she just shrugged it off. However the following year it turned out he had a wife. Prior to knowing that though he had killed himself as we'll as his wife. My sister was devastated but she refused to believe what happened. I tried to explain the feeling i had had but that made it worse. Also at this moment I literally felt almost my soul ripping in tune with my sisters pain. At school I couldn't stop crying. My friends didn't understand the pain I was feeling though I didn't really expect them to. Whether you believe me or not, I get how you feel even now I find it hard to cope with these perceptions.

Yup! I's a curse's one big reason I need a lot of time alone to recharge...quite down the vibes of others, I don't work at it, it just comes/happens. I can't always let it slide off of me either...another thing, on some level, I think others are somewhat aware they are transparent to me, and it makes them less comfortable around me at times too.
Anyway Glad I came across this group :)

I have had this problem my whole life. I just found this passage; "See, I place before you today a blessing and a curse. (Deut. 11:26)" from the bible. From the whole page wrote on this short sentence, I can tell you that the word "See" is God saying " I give you sight" like "Now you see, I give you this as a divine blessing and a divine curse. That the blessing is so great that in our world it would appear as a curse, but the curse is upon the world and we just notice it. <br />
I too, suffer from this. I never had that test either, but i score perfect on any comprehension parts of tests. My GED and my ACT. I am a male as well. I also tend to always focus in on my loved ones. And myself. I have been working on this for years. I can say that i pray and go to church and speak with a mentor about this. also sought out counseling and was even put on medication, which i soon after quit taking. The medicine is a no, but learning forgiveness and keeping busy helps. Planning my day, my money, my month, work, and then doing those things is quite productive and distracting. <br />
i tend to pick up on every little thing, and people tend to be deceptive by nature. Just little things that mean nothing but i pick up on them. It is so frustrating because i do not care nor do i wish to know, but we as people are so wrapped up in our own perceptions that we sometimes cannot see what others do. I just assume that I am wrong (innocent until proven guilty) and i pray that for peace and focus. And again try and stay busy and productive. <br />
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It does not help that i was raised by a man that noticed if you moved a coffee cup an inch on any given counter! :) But, all in all i know it is a blessing, because as i get more focused and learn how to contain my perception, I am becoming more happy and i always have my perception to help me figure things out and to be aware. So by controlling it and not letting it control me i feel like i am way better off than i would be not having great perception. After all if i did not have it i would just be like everyone else without it, the kind of people that irritate me so much!!! HAHA<br />
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I hope this helps, it is great to talk to people that have this same thing.It gets better with age for me, and i pray for you too. <br />
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And to the fellow, I am glad you have learned how to change as well. Being bitter, sucks.

Yes, in spite of being a guy i was one too.<br />
But a good dose of reading knowledgeable books and the punches of life has changed me.<br />
Everyone used to pour out everything they have a problem in life on me. Some still do. I have learnt to ignore them.I have stopped giving critical insights or being a listening post to everyone's cribbing.<br />
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Yes perception can be a curse.<br />
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being able to perceive easily and on top of that i'm quite expressive. Some ppl hate it & some ppl take my unsaid opinions and change.<br />
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Though it may be a curse. I am exceptionally good at managing people. That i think is majorly cause of this ability.I have never done morrisby test or anything.But i still have the problem of focusing on my loved one's negative trait like you. Its hard to get rid. I'm learning to manage it.