I'm shy to begin with.  I also am highly intelligent and use verbal humor to protect myself.

It wasn't enough to protect me.

I've been burned by people pretty badly, some of whom were on the default list of "types of people safe to trust." Eventually I quit trying to reach out 'cause it hurt too much to be betrayed.

But a few years ago an online friend started putting a real effort into befriending me.  She pushed, really worked to earn my trust.  Every time I ran away, she followed.  I knew her for a good two years before I even told her my real name; up until then I'd stuck strictly to my online pseudonym.  But she kept pushing.  Every time I tried to push her away, she pushed back.

Last fall she invited me to spend Christmas with her, and I went.  When I was there she started badgering me to move to her town.  At first I distrusted, was still scared that she did not really mean it.  But once again, she put in the effort, and convinced me. 

In a couple months I'll be moving cross country to be closer to her...one friend who was willing to work her a** off to earn my trust and friendship.
MossAgate MossAgate
31-35, F
4 Responses Aug 10, 2010

That was very heartwarming. Thanks for sharing! It looks like sometimes it's worth it to risk and trust.<br />
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This Fear is very happy for you. :)

Oh, I am and I know it, Vignette!

I am careful, Cowgirl...obsessively so. But Sunshine and her family welcomed me with totally open arms at Christmas; they feel more like my family than the folks who raised me. I've known her for nearly four years, and in that time she's jumped every hurdle I've put in the way of our being friends. <br />
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Reading my story, I can see how it could cause concern. Truly, I have been cautious. Sunshine is not the first online person to try and gain my trust. A few got close, but I scented danger and got out before I was burned. <br />
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Rest assured, I used every tool at my disposal to help divine whether she was trustworthy. The final one was that Christmas visit. I was embraced like another member of the family, introduced to friends as "my good friend from Missouri who I'm trying to talk into moving out here." Not only Sunshine, but her kids, husband, and friends all had a very positive vibe. <br />
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And while I may be fooled by sweet talking online, or even on the phone, my in-person impressions are always accurate. Sunshine is exactly what she appears to be: a genuinely loving (though slightly cracked!) person who will walk the world over for her friends.

Be careful, dear lady... Please!!!