I Want To Be A Hermit

I really do. I think it's just that I want people to leave me alone. Stop asking me about my problems. Stop trying to get me to open up. Yeah, maybe it's not the most healthy take on life, but it's what I'm comfortable with.

I went to the movies with a guy last night. Clearly, he is still in the mindset where a movie is very suggestive. Okay, frankly it's my fault. Yes, I already know this. I don't need to be told. Therefore, this post is more of a vent about the idiotic things I did, and how I clearly DON'T handle them.

So we saw Men In Black 3 (which, by the way, is a GREAT movie! :D ) and he decides to pay for my ticket... okay... sure... whatever. Typical nice guy thing to do, especially because I have no money...

Half way through the movie I whack my hand on the arm rest (I know ... I'm a little clumsy) ... so what does he do? Grabs my hand and rubs it... his hand was really warm... but then he didn't let go, and since my hands were freezing, I was like... whatever... so then he starts cuddling me... and this is the point where girls... if you don't like someone, PUT A STOP TO IT. Yeah, I didn't. Whatever. So then we leave the movie, and go back to his car, where he decides to kiss me. And me, being the IDIOT I am, decides to kiss him back. Frankly, I don't REALLY care about kissing people, as long as it means the same thing to me as it does to them. If I like them, and they like me, whatever... if we don't like each other, whatever.

But of course, it meant something different for him. And I didn't freaking stop it. Why? Because I'm an idiot. And I never know what to do in those situations. Eventually, I said, "hey I need to go home" and then he started talking about how he wouldn't want to get in trouble with my dad, and how he wanted to move to the same state as me, or wanted me to move back (I'm on holidays from uni presently).

What the hell do you even say to that? And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I am known as a tease. I never know how to react. It really doesn't make sense to me.

It was just a kiss, right? Well obviously not for him. Something that doesn't mean anything from my point of view, means EVERYTHING from his point of view. Well done, well done. He kept bugging me about why I liked him... and I was thinking, I really don't...

You shouldn't play with people's emotions... it's wrong. But I understand when people do, because it's pretty hard not to sometimes. Words that should be so easy to say, just aren't. I think this is a good reason to become a hermit-like creature. And just avoid people who like me...

I don't really want advice. I know I screwed up... so yeah.
CaitieLynn CaitieLynn
22-25, F
1 Response Jul 7, 2012

Well Caitie, maybe you are a little too passive in the way that you handle relationships...<br />
There is an cynical old saying, unfortunately sometimes true I guess, that men play at love to get sex, and women... do the opposite. You have to try to get into the male mindset a little more and be proactive, maybe even just say that you only want to watch the movie, if you don't feel just yet like doing more than that... You shouldn't be afraid to be a little more assertive, within reason... Guys will respect you for it!