My Reasoning...

I really want a friend. I mean I have friends, but I don't feel like I'm really their friend. I can't really share what's going on in my life and what I'm thinking. I can't get comfortable, I'm too afraid. I dream of being able to tell someone, anyone, the truth. I want someone I can talk to during my bad times, I want someone who will never judge me, who will understand, who will listen. I want to be a true friend and I want to open up to people but I just can't. If I get too comfortable I'll start saying things I shouldn't, I'll start telling them things that should be kept in my head. If I tell people the truth they might start to worry, or they might judge me, or they'll turn away from me and hold everything I said against me. I can't let that happen. I have to stay strong. Anyways, I'll always have those nights in bed when I can think to myself in the freedom of my own mind. But it's getting harder to play it cool. Lately I've been catching myself about to let something slip past my lips. I so desperately want someone to just listen, but I have myself. I don't need people worrying about me, they have their own problems to worry about. I'll be alright, I can do this. I've been keeping this smile on my face for this long, I can do it for longer. I just don't know how much longer...
sincerelymetes sincerelymetes
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 22, 2013

I'm the same way.