I Start Out Very Standoffish
Sadly, the old saying "A stranger is a friend you haven't met yet" does not apply to me at all. To me, a stranger is someone who will screw you over, insult your intelligence, or disappoint you in some way" is much more accurate. At the beginning of the semester I must have been in some euphoric state, because the wall broke down after about 30 minutes. The people I met that day are great, and I am still tight with them....HOWEVER, there were other people I met that week who turned out to be exactly what I expected them to be. A lot also depends on the situation. I would be more apt to accept males who are as bad looking or worse looking than I am, as they tend to be less pretentious. Besides my own insecurities, I find that stereotypes about the judgemental nature of attractive people tend to be largely based on fact. Admittedly, that may be me as well. I am quite catty with attractive men, like women are with other women. I will say this, though. If someone proves themself to be worthy people, I will overlook anything and let them in. This is why alcohol is good. Nevertheless, it takes a little while for me to open up to the point that I am actually hanging out with people. What's worse is that I am not someone who can just interject myself into a conversation. I am not someone who interrupts people or forces my way into conversations. A lot of people can do that but I cannot. I find it rude. Often I find myself in social situations where I am standing in the background, not talking while everyone else is ensconced in conversation. All of this contributes to my reluctance to open up to people. Basically, I NEED one on one time to get to know someone, but it takes awile for me to become comfortable enough to do so. I am pretty sure I have Avoidant Personality Disorder.