Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

Careful, Or Judgmental?

That's what I've been trying to figure out about myself.  Am I cautious about who I choose to get to know because I'm fearful of being vulnerable?  Is it because I don't trust people to use what they know about me nobly?  Or is it that I judge to quickly who could be and who could not be the type of friend I desire?  Perhaps a mixture of all of these things.
MissedTheBoat MissedTheBoat 26-30, M 6 Responses Nov 25, 2007

Your Response


I wonder the same things about myself. I never come to any conclusion. It is frustrating to know that I am the cause of my inability to engage in personal relationships with people.

Oh, the joys of being reminded of the the things I wrote four years ago. I am far too aware of myself and personal opinions to ask such a question these days. Yes, be careful. Yes, be discerning. Yes, don't judge unworthily since the self is always worthy of judgment. What is caution but a self-affirmation that the self is worth preserving to some degree? What is judgment but self-affirmation that the self is worth preserving to some degree? Any given answer to this question leads to the same conclusion. The point of the question, then, becomes rather moot. I am curious now why I wrote it in the first place. It might have had something to do with my desire to write a story for every experience I signed my name to.

amazing how much can change in just a few short years isn't it? astute observations btw, and you are right... it's a rather circular thinking process all about the *self* isn't it? ;)

We are meant to use our good judgment when it comes to the intentions of others. We can't expect for them all to be good but we should never go to the opposite extreme and begin to expect them all to be bad. Most people are a mixture of good and bad qualities and I suppose it boils down to deciding which ones have the good and bad qualities that we can both value and accept.

couldn't said it better,well put Intelligently

I think everyone has a close radius of family and friends and then there are acquaintances and each person works there way into the nucleus the longer we know them. Those we are more compatable with get there quicker.

Doesn't everyone have a judgemental side?

I wonder that about myself too sometimes. I can be very non-judgmental if I don't have to let someone get close; but when it comes to putting myself in a position where I could potentially be vulnerable...that's different. I think for me it's a combination of both. Because letting people get close is such a sensitive issue, I have to be careful, and that usually means making judgments as to who I might let in and who I won't. <br />
<br />
But I think that there's also a part of me that determines whether or not a person is the right "type," and even if I knew they weren't going to intentionally hurt me or anything, would I still let them in, even though they don't fit what I would consider 'someone who could be compatible with me'? Is that then being judgmental, or is it being careful because I'm avoiding potential misunderstandings that could be caused by our dissimilarities? I'm really not's probably a bit of both, though I hate admitting that I have a judgmental side..