Sensitivity Can Hurt

Looking back I have come to the conclusion my sensitivity derived from my childhood.  There was very little support, Love or anything for that matter.  There was however verbal and physical punishment.  Never new when, for nothing.   All through school I was extremely conscious of my surroundings so much in fact I could not concentrate and struggled all through school.  I worried about my appearence, my feelings, girls.   I would have spoken to a girl on a bet.   I used to have bouts of Diarreah because I would get so nervous.  I find it a little humerous now, but it was horrible back then.  Even until I was in my 20's I hated to go to the store, again Diarriah from nerves.  Thinking someone is watching me, what if they think I stole something......I would die...  I hated being called on in class, hated tests I would get so nervous I would get so nervous and worked up I would typically flunk the test even if I knew the subject.   Sometimes to this day I have difficulties going into a store, if there are alot of People.....eeehhh.  However I can be quite confident and speak well in front of people I do not know.....Strange eh.  Back to the sensitivity issue.  When I am with someone I will give everything I have right up front.  My attention, my tough my creativity and eventually Love.  I mean all my Love.  The problem as with a recent relationship, she left and it tore me to peices.  Hurts me more than anyone can imagine.  It has been a couple of weeks now but it still hurts horribly sometimes.   I could write on this stuff forever.   I have few friends, so this is a good outlet.   Thank You.  I will stop for now.
overwhelmedmich overwhelmedmich
41-45, M
2 Responses Aug 8, 2007

I got the diarea (I hate spelling this word!) problem aka IBS. I hope u get thro this difficult time. I'm sure u can do it. Don't dwell too much on the past, look forward as much as possible.

it is not the end of the world that someone has left you,i wanna advice you couple of things, first:try to find more freinds who understand you and your feelings,i know it is very difficult but try, second:try to participate in courses or classes to learn new skills and at the time to learn how to deal with people and how to interact with them.i tried these things and it worked out.you must believe in yourself and in your ability to be a better person and to overcome your problems.good luck.