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This Isnt How It Used To Be.

ever since this summer I dont go outside, hangout with friends, I usually only eat sleep and play zelda. I text a few people. but I just went outside for the first time today in a week. i was with six others. I sat there the whole time sitting on the side,not talking. I try to laugh along but it doesnt work. I wish I had new friends but everyone else i know are really weird. I usually think, nobody enjoys my company so whats the point of living,right? then I just think, ill do it later. but never acually do it.
panic123 panic123 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 18, 2011

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This is exactally how i feel.. I feel like nobody really enjoys my company, cause everything i say seems boring and i dont really have a loud talking voice so some people dont even hear me and i just feel stupid.. and most of the time when im in large groups i just dont really know what to say so i dont say anything, i guess what you have to do is find a group of friends you share stuff in common with and that you can be yourself around, i found out i love acting and music so i started getting into drama and all that, and its really easy to relate to the people cause we all share something we love, so we always know what to talk about and those are the only people i feel like i can be myself around. But before this it has crossed my mind about whats the point of living? and i have had suicidal thoughts, cause i dont think anyone would care.. But you just have to wake up, and realize your not the only one going through this, and you can beat it! You won't let it take over your life, because you have people in this world who love you and will never get the chance to give you the comfortable feeling you deserve if you weren't around, you just have to find them, and then you'll see the beauty in life.