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Being Shy Makes Me Feel Little.

I am 24 years old and have always been shy ever since I was a child I was quiet and didn't have many friends. I always felt like being shy made me a victim to bullying in school because I felt so alone and had nobody to defend me and I didn't have the confidence to defend myself. I have gotten better over the years though trying to make friends and overcome my shyness but I still feel like I am really shy. I hate it when people call me "cute" its not that its an insult but it makes me feel little like im just "a cup of tea" and people don't take me seriously. It gets frustrating and sometimes I feel really sad and lonely. Growing up my mom always spoke for me and didn't let me speak and she'd tell people i'm too shy to speak and it always stuck with me I believed her that i didn't have enough initiative. And now I have trouble expressing myself to people. However I do believe that it is in my head if I keep working on it I can get over it. Day by day. :)
Neonights Neonights 22-25, F 4 Responses Nov 6, 2012

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Step by step, little by little...you can build a bridge and Cross any obstacle...Key being persistance!

I can relate to this a lot. My parents were the same with me when i was growing up; they would tell people I was shy and this made me very self conscious. In their own way, they were trying to protect me, the way your mother did with you.

I still am shy but I learnt to put on a kind of "mask" around people. You should try and think of yourself as a character next time you go out in public or with a group. Just try it one time.. nothing extreme, just try and think of the type of person you'd like to be (maybe even someone you know) and think what they would do in a particular situation. I remember i had a problem speaking to cashiers or shop keepers so I would watch how one of my friends would interact and i'd kind of imitate him. I fyou can make people believe you're confident then they'll feel comfortable round you which in turn will make you feel more relaxed.

I hope this helps because I know how it feels and sometimes it is a little easier to interact with others when you're not feeling so self aware.

Good luck to you!

thank you for the advice! I actually do try and put on a mask sometimes, it works i also dress nice and put on make up and do my hair which makes me feel more confident when talking to people, its not that i am self conscience physically its just part of my character. But i'm slowly breaking out of it!

Glad to hear it. Eventually the "real" you and the character merge and you become the person you want to be without the insecurities.. hopefully. Like a frankenstein of your best qualities... a frankenstein who wears make up and dresses nice, obviously.

And no problem. Good luck!

many of us grow up being shy but life being so hard with help you snap out of it i was painfully shy but that is long past i can finally say what i feel is in my heart wheather i am liked or hated lol

Keep working on it and you will get over with it, just like you said. Pretend that you are not shy. Start by saying hello with a smile with people. You will see a positive response from most people. Move to starting conversations with people about circumstances you are sharing. An example, suppose you are standing in a long grocery line. Turn around and say to the guy behind you something like "wow, there must be a huge sale going on here what did I miss."

Also look on youtube for conversation tips.

Hey thank you for the advice, I will try to open up to people more!

You are welcome. Also, don't take a rude response from a person personally. There are some people like that. They just aren't happy with themselves.