Very Shy

I was always shy as long as i can remeber.  My verbal abuse as a child crippled me into leading a very dull life. i wasn't excelling for myself i was trying to get that recognition from my father but it didn't matter if i got a hundred or 30 no reaction so as a result i always settle for whatever it was almost as if i took over that not caring role. anyways i have not been shown how to share my thoughts because if i did i was always wrong and didn't know what i was talking about and my dad always had to be right. So in short i have a hard time expressing myself and my feelings i was almost numb for alot of my life but i'm trying to define me and what i like and my interests not just everybody elses.
awakened awakened
31-35, M
5 Responses Oct 28, 2007

Awakened,<br />
<br />
I dont know or can even imagine how painful and difficult that must have been growing up that way. I think it is very brave and courageous of you to share. It is healing.. Know that when you do this you are being loving to yourself because it is healing. You are doing great. Be strong and stay close with those that are supporting you.<br />
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hugs, GG

It also took me along time to get over the different things in the pass that were done, but it's a past that i can leave behind, learn from and move on. My dad was an alcoholic, so that was the major reason for the absentness of being a father. ty so much for reading and understanding it means alot to me when people really listen and give feed back

I am sorry to hear that you had such a unattached, painful childhood. I was very shy growing up and barely said boo to anyone all through highschool. I did have a few really close friends and we had fun together. It took me along time to feel confident about myself and I got lots of counselling over the years from highschool on. I wasn't physically abused but verbally by my dad. I was really angry at him for along time but through the counselling and over the passing of time I forgave him. We have grown and matured and we are very much closer. I have talked with my older sister and younger brother much about this. It was hard on them too. It is a daily thing really to just love us as we are and to keep trusting ourselves and our ability. Thanks for sharing. It must not have been easy. <br />
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Gentle hugs to you, GG

I'm sorry to hear that you had problems growing up. I can identify with you about the abuse <br />
I grew up around abuse since i was 3 yrs old. My mom used to be physically abused and i witnessed this, and after i moved to my dads i became emotionally abused by him cuz he was an alcohollic. Never really did recover from those days.

I was extremly shy as well my friend,still am but not as bad.I spent most of my first 6 years in school with my hand hiding my face and long hair to hide behide. I was also abused,both mentally and phyically my my mother. I have left it behide and moved on,but it took most of my life.Wishing you well.