Emotionally Broken

 im 19 and extremely shy,i have no job ,boyfriend and my friends dont call me anymore. i have never in my life been so shy until this year.i have had many jobs,friends and boys in my past and all of a suden im left with nothing.

getting a job for me is not hard but keeping up with it is. i had 4 jobs in my life and the first job i had i got fired. i must admit i sucked so bad that even i would have fired myself.i was working as a cashier at home outfitters and let me tell you cash is so not for me.back then i was mad at myself cuz i got fired but today,i accept it. i then worked as a salesperson but i was running away from customers,never asked if they needed help they always came to me but that job was a contract so it dint last that long. the two other jobs, i worked at a clothing store and quit because i was too shy.

so then my story begins now.i was jobless for about 8 months and had to get a job cuz i had zero money in my pockets.the job that i found degrades anyone emotionally.dont really want to talk about it now but i did it for 8 months then quit cuz something went wrong.

i then met a guy and he was the first guy i ever dated so i have no experience at all in dating.we went for dinner and i was so quiet and soooo shy i was saying in my head he is never calling me ever again,he  must think im soo boring shy. but he ended calling me again and i was so surprised.during our 3 month dating, i hardly ever talked cuz i was soo shy and even he told me u dont talk alot ,you dont smile alot ,i cant imagine you crying you dont look like you cry.ya right ,i cry about every month !(in my head).when he would say that, it would get me mad cuz its so not the message i wanted to send him but thats wat i looked like.evrytime he wanted to go out to bars i alwayz told him excuses cuz i was too shy to go to a bar with him. he wanted me to meet his friends and again excuses cuz i was shy. he wanted to travel but no cuz im too shy.3 months went by and our relationship just stopped. he stopped calling me,i know he thinks i dint want to be with him but the truth is i really did its just i was too shy to show any emotion and too shy to do anything with him other then watching movies or eating with him.after things ended up with him, thats wen i told myself ive got a serious prolem, im soo shy its ruining my life.

im now jobless again and my relationship with my friends is sinking. i havnt seen my friends for about 2 months but that because they dont call me anymore.i never thought this day would come. no job,no boyfriend and no friends . im going crazy, im alone everyday, i hate myself now, i find myself ugly now and i just want to dissapear. i blame my shyness for being where i am today. i reallly want to break out of my shell but i dont understand why im so shy.


cristina19 cristina19
18-21, F
10 Responses Dec 31, 2009

i am still in a relationship! its been a year and things are good! but i am still very shy! i love spending time with my bf but he cant come to my house so i spend most times at his place and his parents are always there!and they always talk to me and its been a year and i am still very shy with them!i am shy even when we go out with my bfs friends!surprisingly i am not shy with my bf and thank god! i really really really need to stop being like this and be more comftable with myself because i am not going to succeed in life if i am not willing to have more self confidence!hope things work out :)

Hey .how you doin now?read you story..i've had those moments too..generally a shy person..have my moments..maybe i have some sort of selective shyness..you know..shy around some and just comfortable around others..but yea..the emotion has robbed my of getting to know people as well...i'm still tryna work at it..really bugs me when im meetin people or get invited to things..cuz were scared of that FEELING,just an endless cycle of negativity..its crazy... so far the only solution i have to it is TRYING to kinda put yourself out there.. you never know what you'll get till you try..but i could use some advice too..=S<br />
<br />
"We are not prisoners of FATE,but only prisoners of OUR own MIND" Franklin Roosevelt..

If you can make up you mind now again to love and would love to be my friend from now that shyness will go out of your life. I want to say that am in love with you.

i have finally found a new job and a bf! my job ive had it for about 3 months but im gonna quit soon cuz i dont like it and me and my bf ,things r doing pretty good. but im still shy!! i really need to do smtn about it bcuz its ruining my life! i know ive got so much more potentiel but i dont know what it is but theres smtn holding me back from breaking out of my shell!! i dont know if its counseling that i need! but i need help!

I'm really sorry for what you are going through. I'm really quiet and super shy aroung people I don't know but am getting better with practice. Takes time to find good friends. Start off by making eye contact and smile. You will be amazed at the response you receive from strangers. I also encourage you to google on you tube joel osteen he helps with giving you a positive outlook on life and he has alot of advice and a really positive message to send and makes you feel like you can conquer the world and just accept yourself the way you are. I encourage you to take baby steps in working on being more social like smiling, eye contact, practice in a mirror and then add a few more words every time. A counselor can help you as well. I hope this helps, you are a wonderful person we are all unique and different in our own way. I wish you the best of luck

You are in downward spiral. What you said resonates with me as well. Start by finding a therapist or counselor. Find one that can help you sort things out. You life can get better but it takes work. It is worth the effort.

I understand the feeling. You might be suffering from excess anxiety. I got a doctor who put me on meds for anxiety and they really help. Expecially since this happened recently, just taking meds for a few months could cure the problem.

My heart goes out to you after reading your story. I can relate in some sense. Shyness has robbed me of so many opportunities for happiness and success in my life. And that's precisely why I'm determined to beat it down for what it's done to me.<br />
Have you looked at any self-help books or asked for help on forums? They can offer some real insight on diminishing social anxiety.<br />
Please give it a try, you'll be amazed at what you can achieve!<br />
Stay positive and don't give up!

still jobless but i guess things are going ok, im less sad and tired now, i sleep kinda alright for now but hopefully things will get better.

Sorry to hear things weren't going well. have they got any better? whats going on now