I Wish My Life Was Different

I don't know if someone will read this ,but in case they will i want to say my english is not very good.I just found this site accidentaly,cause sometimes i need to write that i feel unhappy since i can't tell it to the people i know.I don't have inspiration to live , I lost it and without that I just don't do anything.I don't have a job since October last year. I go to interviews , it looks like i'll start and exactly the last moment they lie to me and don't hire me.That happened 2 times already...i can't explain it to myself.I have a boyfriend since more than a year. Now he works 12 hours every day and i see him only in the evening.He made me really happy in the beginning of our relationship,but things changed ...he doesn't pay so much attention to me like he used to be.I live in a country where nothing is right, there are many rich people and many poor people, much crime and corruption and without conections u are noone.I don't have any connections , I try to make it on my own , but I'm 28 now and i sit at home all day ,feeling that i don't have any luck and no reason to get up.Here is a very cold winter now,I wish i was somewhere warm , with a nice job and many nice friends around me .The winter is killing all my energy, its to long ,its cold from November till April here.No sunshine.No job.No friends in the city I live. Love isn't what it was...I don't know if it will get better. This morning i even said to my boyfriend that I want to dissapear.I know this is a depression,but it feels better when I write about my emotions.
Summer9 Summer9
5 Responses Mar 3, 2011

now im very clitical problem? thay y im very unhappy

i would love to help you.i know how it feels when everything is going wrong and your sad and just want to leave.

Hi, My english is not good either.but i want to tell you i was thinking about my life, when i found this site and start reading about you. we all experience depression in our life,but we have to take one day at a time.if i am going to tell you about my life, you will see that your problems are very small compare to others.you need to get up and think about better life.<br />
Good luck!

Summer9 we jsut keep trying one little step at a time and sometimes it helps to but your mind on others and not our selves and keep writing it helps to get things out and examine them.<br />
Prayers goahead

What you are experiencing is depression. You are still so very young and have a lot to live for! You said, "I don't know if it will get better." In my life I have often had times of feeling this way... The thing is there will be better times in your life and there will be worst times in your life... You have to keep on going for the better times and when things get worst... Think of the times that were better and visualize things getting better! Find the smallest things to find happiness or joy in! It can as simple as an old picture, a beautiful sunset, a star studded night! <br />
Good luck!!