I Wish My Life Was Different
I don't know if someone will read this ,but in case they will i want to say my english is not very good.I just found this site accidentaly,cause sometimes i need to write that i feel unhappy since i can't tell it to the people i know.I don't have inspiration to live , I lost it and without that I just don't do anything.I don't have a job since October last year. I go to interviews , it looks like i'll start and exactly the last moment they lie to me and don't hire me.That happened 2 times already...i can't explain it to myself.I have a boyfriend since more than a year. Now he works 12 hours every day and i see him only in the evening.He made me really happy in the beginning of our relationship,but things changed ...he doesn't pay so much attention to me like he used to be.I live in a country where nothing is right, there are many rich people and many poor people, much crime and corruption and without conections u are noone.I don't have any connections , I try to make it on my own , but I'm 28 now and i sit at home all day ,feeling that i don't have any luck and no reason to get up.Here is a very cold winter now,I wish i was somewhere warm , with a nice job and many nice friends around me .The winter is killing all my energy, its to long ,its cold from November till April here.No sunshine.No job.No friends in the city I live. Love isn't what it was...I don't know if it will get better. This morning i even said to my boyfriend that I want to dissapear.I know this is a depression,but it feels better when I write about my emotions.