Its Hard to Wait

 It is very hard to wait on His timing but that is what im trying to do ...Especially as far as Jake is concerned .. I keep telling myself that when i get myself to where i want to be ..  Im going to open a myspace account to get ahold of him ... but then the other side of me is telling me that i cant do that .. I need to be patient and wait for God to send him back to me .Because i know that he will Because i asked in his will and  i know that he will give me what i ask for according to his will .  Its alot like the Book of Ruth . Noami was so griefstricken when she went back to her people She told them " Do not call me Noami Call me Mara for the Lord has made me bitter " . And she helped Ruth  in becoming married to Boaz  by telling her the customs and exactly what to do . And in the end She was blessed by God in every way possible . But its hard to be that virtiuos woman .... especially with having been made to have free will we can either be self indulgent and do it our selves or we can wait and Let God have his hand in it ...  its a hard struggle ..  i battle it everyday .
starstruck2xtrme starstruck2xtrme
26-30, F
1 Response Mar 6, 2007

Did you get him back? Why did you want him back anyway? I feel like maybe you have his child? that's why its so important for you. I feel like this, but not to have him back, just to find him and see him again and so his toddler son can see him too. its so hard when you think your finally ready to move on, all the pain comes back in an instant, I'm desperately praying for this story to come right. Lord knows Im praying. And waiting. I cant find new love although sometimes Im close, I feel theres something blocking it, unfinished business, a man who abandonned me while pregnant. I thought Im healed but Im not, I need something more from God to show me he has a plan. Im directionless sometimes and pre occupied, lack of focus because I try so many ways of life, but nothing in fitting perfectly yet, there is still deep loneliness even though things seem to be going well to outsiders. Im always online and addicted to connections with people because I live alone, but on the other side i have everything going for me, and should be so thankful for all my blessings, intelligence, reasonable beauty, health, wonderful angel child, and beautiful home, but life still proves so tricky and i seek badly Gods face more and more. And a change of heart for my ex boyfriend, when will he change and realise how he stamped pain on my life. That he could fix with just a little sorry, I would forgive him. but he's too much of a coward now to ask. And I feel like I will have to wait maybe 10 years before he realises. Oh please God change something in him to give him honor and turn men back into real men.