The Waiting Game
So...I tried again. I have myself in the right emotional state in my life ( and I honestly don't know how I came to the conclusion that it was right or that the decision made things right) that I am going to try for another child.
Now don't get ahead of yourselves, I don't already have 6 children with no partner, no job, and no room to fit a child in my life. I wouldn't make selfish, irresponsible decisions that include the creation of life. (that was my soapbox on the octuplet debate if ya couldn't tell)
I was pregnant once before in my life and lost my baby boy while I was seven months pregnant with him. His name is Nicky. It's taken a long time to come to terms with the idea of trying again but I've decided that it's time.
I had a gentleman make a deposit (because my partner is a woman and incapable of getting me pregnant) on the fourth of this month. I'm due to start my period on or around the 19, going off a 26 day usual cycle, which used to be 28 but since I gave birth to my angel-baby boy, I topped off at 26. Anyway, no need to get technical.
I am waiting...and waiting...I swear, time has litterally stopped. Eight more days until I can go potty on that little stick and hope to God a positive sign shows up. The problem is, I want to be pregnant again so bad that I don't know if my mind has tricked me into having those early hormonal and subtle body changes. I'm super-emotion...I mean...who cries at the movie "Knocked Up?" My heartburn has been out of control, which I usually get around the time that I'm ovulating, but...those days should be over with by now and I'm still getting wicked heartburn...that was one of my symptoms during my first pregnancy. Bowel changes...like ya'll really need to know this...but yeah.
This is driving me crazy!!! So...will some of ya'll be crazy with me until I know for sure if I'm just crazy ...or if I'm preggers?