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I Am Wasting My Life Away

The Anxiety Is Killing Me...

By: deleted
Written on June 6th, 2012
I am a 19 year old girl who panics at the mere thought of talking with a stranger on the telephone. I run from anything that raises my anxiety and because of this I haven't been able to accomplish much in my 19 years of living. I live on my own because I cant live with my parents (it's a long story), but I dont pay the bill. Many people think that I'm lucky, but the truth is, this apartment is nothing but a fancy jail cell. I have no friends, no one to talk to, and my parents have very little to do with me. I stay locked away behind these walls because the outside world terrifys me to the point of panic attacks. I was attending community college, but dropped out. The anxiety was so bad, that I would shake severely. To the point where I couldnt even hold a pencil. I cant hold down a job or volenteer work, I'm even afraid to drive long distances. I am a prisoner in my skin. And my greatest fear is that I will always be trapped, I will always be alone, and always feel fear when it comes to even the simplest tasks...
By: deleted
Age: 26-30
645 people have read this story

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9 responses
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    kmatiara
    kmatiara

    Im here for you if you need it. Feel free to msg me

    Jan 30
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    Aiyana77
    Aiyana77

    Do you believe in past lives? what you are describing almost sounds like a cell memory from a past life somewhere. A past life regression may help you a lot with your problem. Sylvia Browne talks about past life issues in a couple of her books and how to deal with them.

    Dec 3, 2012
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    immagaylord
    immagaylord

    ;(

    Jun 30, 2012
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    MIdOGcX
    MIdOGcX

    u know it's sad but true that people aren't angels or demons . we r in that hanging state between good & evil . poor or rich , black or white , tall or short , we all have our problems but only the brave one who can face it . believe me u r a great spirit oh yes i can smell it , so go out and face the world . i guess u will never know the real meaning of life if u stay at ur fancy jail go to some bar drink ,dance ,puke, waste it and u will be just fine ..................piece

    Jun 26, 2012
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    uninblox
    uninblox

    This kind of fear is more common than you might think. The irony is that people with social anxieties avoid other people, which means they never find each other to talk about it :)



    There are good treatments if you are willing to accept them, mostly in the form of anxiety-reducing pills in combination with therapy if you can afford it /your government pays for it.



    I had my very first enjoyable icecream in a public square the other year and I'm almost thirty. Don't be as stupid as me and wait that long!

    Jun 6, 2012
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    reset
    reset

    I feel your pain. Like today we had to do intros in my online class and I still panicked even though they don't get to see me or hear my voice b/c I don't like talking about myself. I had to take a few Xanax to manage it. I also avoid driving as much as possible. I couldn't keep a job b/c ppl give me anxiety. I've been procrastinating on calling ppl at school so I can test out of things b/c it terrifies me to talk on the phone. I just turned 20 and I still have all these issues. You are definitely not alone. I'm working thru it but it's hard. I hope you get better too. It's terrible to live a life like this. At least we still have time to change.

    Jun 6, 2012
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      So who pays for your apartment ?

      Jun 6, 2012
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      At least they r nice enough to pay for it. I wish I had that.

      Jun 7, 2012
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      I understand. Anyways, how r u doing ?

      Jun 13, 2012
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