I feel pathetic, ashamed. My life is one long stream of unfortunate events with a few thousand awkward moments interspersed in between each day. I'm torn between killing myself and killing everyone else around me. Everything else is just killing time. Everything I do is just waiting. Waiting for the weekend, waiting until I graduate high school and then waiting again to graduate college just to wait for my death. I don't want to wait anymore, I don't want to just exist, I want to change something in this world I want to do something, anything to make my name, my story heard, to help someone, to save someone from the same agony I feel each and every moment. I want to be different from everyone else, I want to be unique , but the sad depressing truth about life is, in the end, when we are all buried 6 feet under ground or spread out on a beach god knows where, we are all the exact same.