Needing Help With Some Things..Merry meet,
I have been studying Wicca for about.. 7ish months now. My father, who is Wiccan
has helped me a lot on my studies, he lent me some books to look over and has been very suppourtive. My mom used to be VERY strict about it. She wouldn't even let me look at books about basic alchemy. Now, since her and her last husband separated, she has been much more open-minded, and now allows me to study whatever I feel like.
That's pretty much just an introduction about stuff, now i need to get to some real issues I'm having.
I have always, ALWAYS had anger problems. I have a tendency to hold grudges and never forgive people who have done wrong. And I have so much...hatred..towards some people..
I don't think i can help it..I've had so much..wrong done..
I don't want to be like this. It's not good to have so much negativity, I know. I also have problems with self-hatred, because I have done things I cannot forgive myself for. All this negative energy that surrounds me has made things hard. I feel as if the only thing im doing right is helping to take care of the planet. I want to hurt people, and myself.. I wish i didn't, but it's something I've been fighting for a long time. I want to forget all the bad things, and just love like I'm supposed to. I want to feel peaceful, and rested. I want to feel the love for all things. But some things....are just... not possible to love..
Can i get someone's view on this? Some help maybe? Thanks..