I Didn't Know What Was Calling Me.

I didn't realize it, at first. I came to Wicca slowly. I always felt a pull towards the outside, towards life and the necessary cycle of death. I respected the seasons and each time the seasons changed, I felt more alive and connected with the earth.

At 12, my cat died, and I felt that being buried in a shoebox wasn't good enough. I buried Princess with flowers and fruit and feathers and other offerings, and offered up a prayer that wasn't like the prayers I heard at the southern baptist church. I said things I felt were right. I have always seemed to know things that I shouldn't know about nature, life, death and the cycles we all go through.

It wasn't until I was about 15 that I heard the term "Wicca". As soon as I learned what it was, I realized I had been following it in a crude, uneducated fashion all my life.

It was harder for me to understand the concept of a detached, omnipotent god with a mysterious plan for us all. Wicca felt true. The Goddess and the Horned God felt right. I devoured every piece of literature on the pagan religions I could find. The more I read, the more everything I felt made sense.

When I was finally dedicated by a high priestess, I had an intense feeling of "coming home". I felt love and warmth and I knew I'd finally found where I belonged.

The goddess is probably the biggest thing that got me through my husband's year long deployment. It was her strength and warmth, belief and love that let me know that I was going to be okay.

Each Esbat and Sabbat, I felt more whole. I felt closer to her. I felt like I would be able to accomplish more on my own, without the help of others.

It has truly been a blessing in my life. In finding the Goddess, I found an entire family I never knew I had.

darkchild23 darkchild23
22-25, F
6 Responses Mar 8, 2010

I was surprised when my husband and I went back to his home town to see his family for the 4th of July. It's a small southern town, the entire area is mostly cotton and peanuts. It's a town of intolerance -- you cannot be openly gay or something other than southern baptist without the scorn and lectures of the entire community. However, when we went to go get a few fireworks, the lady at the counter was wearing a necklace with a star and a stone in the center. It was certainly a Pagan symbol, and curious, I waited until everyone else left and then asked her if she was Pagan. She proudly said that yes, she was Wiccan, and I realized that our brothers and sisters are stronger than we give them credit for. It would take a strong faith and a strong person to survive in that area, but it is there, and thriving. She says there is a small coven in the area, and I think I may check them out, at least for one of the Sabbaths, when we return. <br />
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Blessed be to all.

I can relate to a lot of what you have experienced, and how your journeys led you to the Goddess and to Wicca. There is so much beauty in the path :)

great story every time i read 1 i think of how many wiccans are out there BLESSED BE TO ALL MY WICCAN SISTERS AND MAY THE GODDESSES LIGHT SHINE DOWN ON YOU )O(*********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

JACQUELINEDARR, I will most certainly keep you in my prayers to the goddess. I will ask for her to give you strength and hope, and let you have peace and freedom from pain. I will ask her to give you some help, though how she gives you that help I cannot say. Stay strong, and have confidence that she'll look after her own. Blessed be. )O(

I have cancer,carvanoma on my brain stem and had a stroke xmas day I can hardly walk... I went from a size 4 to 14 lost my best friend my father 01/16/2010 I do not get dressed or out of bed let alone shower. I have lost everything forced out of my job after 10 years and now losing my boyfriend. I have begged and borrowed to try to fill my bucket list which is small get married out back of my home pay all my co pays and meds get help to walk normal again......... and help to feeds me and my dogs ..... With what ever is left I feed my St Bernard and my golden....... I used to model now I look homeless what is there left to live for but, my granddaughter who loves me for me. I feel I will end up homeless and unable to walk I lost my insurance so the medicines I now need I can not afford so it is just time for me I have all the proof I am real......I fill this out every month with the hopes for help even a dollar would be help. I am not Haiti and not in Chili but, I am crying for a miracle ......I want to live but with out help I do not know how. I also have Rheumatoid Arthritis in both hands.<br />
I have begged and borrowed to stay alive please someone hear me<br />
<br />
Source: Cancer Centers, food banks..... Please guide me <br />
Can you pray for me

I enjoyed reading this though I think of myself as a christian. I seem to know things and have more understanding of nature and 'what things mean' more and more and I have been doing my own ceremonial prayers over things for a long time. I haven't been to church much over many years. I often question things in my mind you speak of - God's plans for us etc. I came across a scripture recently that kind of turned things on their head. It was a shock. I am still searching for the right place for me. It is interesting what paths we all take. I don't really know what else to say, except we should all respect the earth. If you want to message me it would be interesting to chat. I like learning more of people's religions.