Widowed Depressed And Lonely

I had been married for 30 years when my husband died at the age of 51 through cancer, although I have been on my own for about 5 years because before ho got ill with cancer he was an alcoholic. I have 4 boys that are grown up with family's of there own and although they are there for me I don't like to burden them with my problems. All my friends are married and are not interested in going out. My husband left me with no money although I do work fulltime but only earn enough to pay bills and mortgage so have nothing left for any thing else. Although this sounds strange but when my husband died it was a relief and I enjoyed the peace and quiet, no more abuse from him drinking and tiptoeing around his illness because he had brain tumours as well as lung and bone cancer, his personality changed and everything I said he took the wrong way. It is now that I have found I am sick of this life. I go out for walks just to get out of the house,weekends are the worse and i hate coming home from work to an empty house.   I am depressed and often cry wondering if this is what i have to look forward to for the rest of  my life.. I am a young 52 year old  and not  ready for this sort of exiistance because at the moment that all I do.

Anita  from Poole

6g7dv0infv 6g7dv0infv
7 Responses May 23, 2010

Hey Anita, I understand how you feel. I am almost in the same boat. I am almost the same age and have had almost the same experiences. Not sure when you posted this but I feel very similar.

Although I'm a man, I " do " understand how you feel !<br />
<br />
Believe it or not, not all men are after 1 thing and I would never dream of treating you the way men have treated you !<br />
<br />
Take care, David, xxx

hi anita

Thankyou all for your comments. I do actually have a dog and he is the most wonderful mate I could have. He has made me go out and he is always there when I am unhappy he comes and snuggles up to me. The only thing he can't give me is adult conversation although he does try and talk and take me out for a meal drinks ets. I have tried a few dating sites but have found that the men I have met for a drink are either after one thing or because I am a widow expect me to be a rich widow and expected me to pay.

Dear Anita. Oh how I understand you and relate to your life. It will be 2 years since my husband is gone and I,m still very sad and miss Him a lot. I work full time and I,m around people all day but then when I,m driving home on Friday afternoon I,m getting depressed and sad.Still don,t like weekends but I,m trying my best. Today I had bad day so I rented some movies and stay in bed all day .I needed that but I know I will get better days and so will You ,just don,t loose any hope we need time. Recently I met someone , we share the same life experience and who knows maybe one day we will get closer. That person open my eyes and I know I can not live in the past forever .My husband is gone from my home but not from my heart He will always be there but my life has to go on so is yours and every widow and widower. ,I love this quotation" death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves the memory no one can still" So even you had some bad memories of your husband let them go and try to remember the good once .Forgive Him and stay strong. There is this web side www.widowspath.com you can download "Grief Loss Guide' it is very helpful I read it few times already.Better days will come,God bless you

It sounds as if you need to reach out and make some new friends who are in your situation. Have you thought about joining some organization or group where you share common interests? Because you enjoy nature and long walks, what about a group that volunteers for conservation or even birdwatching or nature photography? If you enjoy history or gardening then look into a local historical society or gardening club. Even joining a local book club will get you out meeting new people. Most libraries have groups that meet there and you can check this out. Most of these organizations have no fees attached. I agree that having a pet would help alleviate your loneliness and you can visit a shelter or humane society and give a deserving animal a loving home and know that you are making a difference in another beings life. Blessings,D.

Hope you find what you are looking for,it may sound strange but get a dog-cat their better than people,this drinking thing I know what you mean,I stay with someone with drinking problem's and it really does your head in, good luck 6g