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Da Woman - Dating And The Single Career Mom

I received a humorous email from a girlfriend the other day describing her latest dating dilemma. Her email was so humorous to me because I can recall some very frantic days during my late 20's and early 30's when I was trying to have it all. Yanno...I am woman hear me roar? That meant having a career...being a mom...dating...and actually attempting to clean my house and do laundry on a semi-regular basis. Oh...and did I mention volunteering as a basketball coach and working a fair amount of overtime? Obviously...plants and pets were not an option at this time in my life because I would have killed them all.

When I look back on some of those days...I have to shake my head in amazement...because I do not know what I was thinking...or how I even made time for a social life. I think I averaged around 4 hours of sleep per night for 10 years...and then I would make up the difference on Saturday or Sunday mornings by trying to sleep in a few extra hours. Sometimes it worked...sometimes it didn't...because as I was becoming more social with my age group...so was my son.

You've never lived through true chaos until you've hosted a preteen sleepover. My initiation into this wild and crazy world saw me supervising 6 boys. I have no idea what was I thinking? To say mealtimes were crazy is understatement...which is why the pizza places in my neighborhood were my best friends. Sleepover is really a misnomer...because the boys rarely slept more than a few hours. They were way too busy doing boy things...which usually included some kind of experiment or building project. Regardless of how hectic these sleepovers could be...I was fine with them because my son had a lot of fun...and so did I.

On the weekends when I wasn't hosting a house full of boys...I usually had a date. Sometimes I even had more than 1 date...which is where it gets a little bit interesting. You see...I got so tired of being fixed up on blind dates...and since I wasn't going to church...or to bars...and I was too busy hanging out with my son's friends...it really didn't leave a lot of dating options open to me...unless I was willing to pick-up a guy at the grocery store or a gas station.

So I got this bright idea after a girl's lunch one day...to place a personal ad in one of the local papers. Actually...if I'm being honest...after I made fun of some of the ads listed in said paper...one of my girlfriends dared me to do a better job...and I thought it might be an interesting experience...so I accepted her challenge.

My ad went something like this...
Thirty-something-year-old SWF scouting the the area for some new talent. Can be a bit of a tomboy...but cleans up very nicely. Is 5'7 with long red hair...hazel eyes...and H/W/P. Must have a great sense of humor...love the outdoors...and enjoy sports. One-night stand junkies need not apply. Looking to have some fun...make new friends... and possible meet someone who is interested in a long-term relationship. If this sounds like you...I'd love to hear from you.

I might has well have put...
Come and get it boys...because my mailbox was constantly full...and my life became a zoo. I was able to place my ad for free...but I could only have 15 minutes a day to check my voice mailbox and if I went over that time frame...I was charged a pricey amount per minute...so I limited myself to the 15 minutes per day.

I'm happy to say I met a lot of great guys from this ad. I also met a lot of different types of guys. I remember dating a professional football player...a lawyer...an artist...a doctor...a drummer...and the list goes on. I made a lot of new friends...and I'm still in contact with a few of them to this day.

During this very hectic time in my life...I kept a day-timer so that I could keep up with all of the many appointments I had in my life. But on one particular Friday night...I neglected to pencil in a date I had made weeks before...and found myself with 2 dates...on the same night.

Now this situation would have normally been hectic for anyone...but of course on that day I had to stay late at work because of a huge snafu...and then I had to get my son fed and over to his friend's house before I could even think about getting ready for my date. Once I had the work thing and my son taken care of...I headed back home to grab a quick shower.

During my shower...I received a phone call from date #2 (the one I'd forgotten about) asking if we could push our date back from 8:30 to10:30. Now date #1 was a first date...even though we had talked numerous times on the phone...and he was meeting me at a neighborhood restaurant at 7:30.

At first...I was completely speechless when date #2 called...because I didn't have the appointment written down in my day-timer. Damn! I had had the pleasure of talking with him many times...and we had actually been out on several dates already. What's a girl to do right? Well...right when I was getting ready to let him down gently...and tell him how I had made a huge boo-boo...he asked me in this really disappointed voice, “Did you forget?” Well...I had...but I didn't have the heart to bail...and because I remembered he was working a new gig (drummer)...I knew he was wanting me to catch the show and then go out afterwards. I took a deep breath and said, “I had something come up...and I might be a bit late...but I'll try.”

After I hung up with date #2...I finished getting ready and raced to meet date #1 at the restaurant. In spite of the crazy day...I had a wonderful time...and even had time to fit in a quick drink and a couple of games of pool before I headed off to meet date #2. Now in retrospect...I realize if I had had to change clothes in between dates...or had to driven a huge distance in between dates...my night would have been disastrous. I was able to leave just in time from date #1...so that I could make it to date #2 on time...and I actually had a great time on both dates.

Would I ever do this again? Hell no! I'm happy to say that neither guy ever found out...because I was just too embarrassed to share this information with either of them. The Drummer (date #2) would have probably laughed about it...the insurance salesman (date #1) not so much. I did go out on a few more dates with the insurance salesman...and I dated the drummer off and on during a 6 month period whenever he was in town. So I'm really glad I didn't stand either of them up.

This is just one of the many crazy things that happened during this time in my life. When I look back on it now...I think to myself...Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City) had nothing on me...because she only had a career and a social life to juggle...I had all that...plus a child.

Yep...I'm Da Woman. *wink* LOL! :)

KassieKat KassieKat 46-50, F 2 Responses Nov 21, 2011

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Gee, I would have dropped dead after one week... Career, son, friends, sports, dates, and 4 hour sleep. My goodness, I would need to be on liters of caffeine just to go through work... One thing, I guess hectic life does keep your figure well.... lol....

Ha! You're probably right...since I was always eating and running. :) Yes...it was hectic...but I still had a lot of fun. In fact...I'm still having a lot of fun. I just have a different career...and a don't have a small child to worry about. It definitely makes things way more manageable. Thanks very much for commenting. :)

Lol, juggling like a pro!

A pro eh? I don't know about that. I was kind of stressed at times...and a pro would have been very cool and collected. However...the word juggling is spot on! *wink* Thanks for commenting. :)