Found Out Today

So I recently reconnected with someone that I dated in college, and by dating, I mean could have married.  We've been talking on the phone for the last year or so, but actually got the chance to get together over coffee just before Christmas.  If there was one guy that I've always wondered 'what if?' about, it's totally him.  I didn't wonder often, just the occasional thought.  But since I saw him, it's been an almost daily occurrance.  We've both moved on, and we're both married, and I would never, never cheat, but I think it's still human to wonder....

I have a son with my current hubby.  Still wondered, y'know, what if I got divorced (again)?...and he would have to as well.  What if something happened?  And I'll admit, there was a part of me that wondered if he'd still find me attractive enough to leave his wife for. 

 Today, found out he's going to be a daddy.  And I'm bummed.  I'm not sure why that should change my little fantasy world.  He could still divorce her.  Things could still happen.  Altho in reality, I KNOW they never will, and frankly, would not really want them to.  But somehow, this has put him mentally off limits. 

 

pilotjess pilotjess
36-40, F
1 Response Feb 15, 2010

if you were once intimate that bond will always be there...that is normal and dangerous...