Life. Death. Difference?

I have often thought death is less pain and more peaceful. I think death will make me beautiful and make me feel more human, if that even makes sense. The point of life is to prepare for death. I have been suicidal and I have fantasized about a peaceful and artistic death. I feel it will be silent and musical. Life makes it easier to die, as dying after the full life is more liberating. I need more in my life, but I am striving to do better each day and to find peace in everyday. Because when I die someday, I will die thinking about this and I will remember times in my life when it was fulfilled. I will welcome death.
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May 25, 2012