I'm Not Wondering, I Really Know There Is None

I am bad luck. I am the runt of the family. My mom sucks at raising me. I'm mentally insane(REALLY insane. I mentally give people death treats when they bump into me in the hall.) I tried to kill myself seven times, majority of thoughs times I was only nine. I am a C and D student so I don't expect to graduate and be able to go to the film college I wanted to go to. I wasn't suppost to be born, if I was, somebody tell me why the hell me.

Do me a favor, keep in mind that smiles and humor can also be used to hide pain. Don't just assume someone is happy. The one who smiles the most and acts like nothing is bothering them could be hiding something.

Don't worry, I'm not gonna kill myself. That doesn't mean I don't think about it though. I don't like taking the easy way out though.

If your sad, you can always talk to me, though. I might not have answers, but if you just want to get stuff off your chest ill be there (:
DewDropsontheGrass DewDropsontheGrass
13-15, F
1 Response Jan 11, 2013

Don't give up! I took in an 18 year old boy that had failed twice, and would never have graduated high school if I hadn't intervened. He was thrown away by his real mother. She just had so many problems and just couldn't see what she was doing to him. He came to me with a lot of baggage. My husband and I just loved him and homeschooled him... we did flash cards for multiplication tables with an 18 year old! He is now about to get his associates degree and wants to get his bachelors next. He told me he thought of suicide a lot. I wouldn't trade him for anything.
I try to look at his mom or my parents and think.. they have their baggage too. I just tell myself I won't let their problems keep me down. Some days it's easier than others, but your life is yours and you have so much ahead so give it all you've got!
I think you can do whatever you want if you just set your mind to it and don't let your situation decide your fate. I am also talking from experience. I didn't want to live to the age I am now. My own life has been an exhausting exercise in pain and suffering. I like what you said about not assuming that a smiling person is happy. I saw one of those posts on facebook about smiles hiding a lot of pain. Life can be so hard. I am glad that you don't see suicide as the answer. Just keep trying. You seem pretty smart and wise to me.

Thanks so much (:
I will, I'll keep trying, I won't stop (: