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Why?

My story won't be detailed...I can't bring my self to right it in detail. I was raped and because no one believed me half of my city are after me. a couple of years later i was raped again by my boyfriend at the time and then he calved my name into his arm he'd sit out side my house and watch me...i was bullied nearly all my life...a year ago i over dosed and lived i still wish to this day i didn't fail, but it was obvious i was going to, i fail at everything...im so depressed all the time and id be so numb to the point of self harm, but being numb wasn't the only reason i self harmed...i hated my self i thought i needed to punish my self and i still do...the only guy i have ever loved cheated and chucked me away like a piece of crap. I suffer with paranoia...i have voices in my head, and i can hear and feel people breathing down my neck when no ones any where near me...i hear noises that aren't real, i get nightmares thats when i can sleep cause i don't get allot of that, i think even my closest friends and my family are plotting against me...anyone person i see im instantly scared of them even people younger than me. I don't know what's fake and whats reality...i can't tell the difference anymore. Im about to turn 17 n people still can't see after all these years how much pain and confusion im in. I just don't want to live anymore...what is the point in living? im going through mental torture and noone can tell.
justdeadk justdeadk 16-17, F Feb 13, 2013

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