It's getting a bit too hard. The situation in school's just going down the drain and so is the situation at home. At school, my 'friends' are trying to make a fool out of me in front of everyone while my seniors are giving me hell and saying that they're totally unimpressed by the way I carry out my duties. I'm yelling till my throat is hoarse, I'm pulling people out and giving them warnings, getting to class on time, making the juniors form lines before they leave and clearing the classes on time, the whole shebang. How much more do they want from me?

I'm also incredibly disappointed in myself for not doing as well as I expected. It's not that I hadn't put in effort or anything. I had and lots of it, too. I used study instead of surfing the net on weekends and every afternoon, after school instead of sleeping, even though I was tired. I used to do reference and I even took an online course. But the result, I got wasn't worth all that effort. It's just made me get even more depressed and lose all my focus and motivation and it's not like I'm getting depressed because this is the first time something like this has happened. It's cause it's happened far too many times.

I feel tired and I yawn all the time which my parents seem to think is just caused by my laziness. It's not. I feel like I don't have the energy to do anything. I can't make myself get out of the bed in the morning without someone waking me up. I despise school more than anything and dread going there.

I seriously am wondering what the point in living is.
EvanescentIridescent EvanescentIridescent
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 16, 2014

Look you need to do a sleep study!! Very badly!! You sound like my husband!! Very smart great guy!! But just want to sleep !! Well after the sleep study ! They found out he moves 218 time in 4 hr. He only get 20 minutes of true sleep heeling sleep !! This just might help

Oh, thanks :)