I cannot recall one year that went by without me wanting to die or wanting to kill myself. My life isn't even that bad... I have food.. a roof over my head.. some friends. Yet I feel so empty. I feel my friends and the people who love me are lying to me and plotting against me. Or that they are just pretending to like me because they feel bad.

Dreaming of the one day I will finally build up the courage to leave this world. I am so empty. I am so sad. It has always been this way. It hurts to live.
I pray that I will get in a freak accident and die, so that my mom does not have to live with any guilt and so I do not have to kill myself.

I am so so sad... and I feel so terribly hopeless. I just want to die..
kbeary kbeary
22-25, F
2 Responses Aug 16, 2014

I'm so sorry that you feel so bad !! But I'll beat you that the people around you TRUELY do care!!

That maybe you need to explore some new things and became a wider person !! That to find what you are missing is just new thing in your life!! Try something like sky diving, a roller coaster , something different and something wild!! Just ask your self what do I TRUELY like what would push me to see that their is more to life!! I had the same thought a long time ago! Until I started exploring new things!!

I wish there was something I could say to brighten your day. All I can think of is telling you that I care and don't wish you to do anything to yourself. I believe that you are much more important to people around you than you may realize but the thoughts that haunt you are making you believe that you are not important. Just look at my name and you will see what I was believing as well. Please talk to me or anyone else here on EP. You will find that there are many people here that are caring and would like to help any way we can. If you would like a friend, I am here.

I agree with this comment! I am here as well