Suicide, that moment when you finally get treatment for depression and take pills as well as talk therapy and realize that it is ineffective. You realize that you're never going to be "whole." You realize that your a bruised fruit and the bruises aren't going to go away, it just prevents more bruises...Now that I know they'll never go away, I don't really want to live in this state. At least I tried.
littlebeanpie littlebeanpie
22-25, F
7 Responses Aug 16, 2014

Hey those bruises well go away as soon as you find a way to widen your world!! Yes it very hard!! Yes it hard work!! But at the end it well be worth it!!

Just take some small steps!! First like think what would you like to learn, see, do, explore!! Which would be the easiest then do it!! Yes I know it's the hardest thing you well ever do!! But once you take the first step the second is easier and the third and so on!!

So please try!! I was so bad I didn't leave my room !! My first step was to open the door

Good luck

Thanks but being with my mom and my baby in heaven sounds more...heavenly. These people who say they were cured of depression, I don't know if I believe it, if they were it was something else. Or maybe I just have something else.

I haven't been 'cured' by a long shot but things have gotten better..I got my *** in that gym! As hard as it is to even get in there it has helped. I mean im still miserable everyday but there is no way I'd end that, its too ******* selfish, I wouldn't want to upset anybody..

i keep hearing that, about going to the gym and that helping. i have to say i've always felt out of place there since i'm quite skinny, but there must be some help in those endorphins released when u work out. at least for a temporary high....as far as upsetting anybody, the people wanting you to continue in ur miserable existence are the selfish ones in my eyes. there's no one i feel obligated to live for..when my friend passed (naturally) I was so happy for her because she was very sick and very miserable.

i keep hearing that, about going to the gym and that helping. i have to say i've always felt out of place there since i'm quite skinny, but there must be some help in those endorphins released when u work out. at least for a temporary high....as far as upsetting anybody, the people wanting you to continue in ur miserable existence are the selfish ones in my eyes. there's no one i feel obligated to live for..when my friend passed (naturally) I was so happy for her because she was very sick and very miserable.

The point is for you to love you. You are your life path, to get to know who you are.
Outside of you, you wont find happy.
Life is tough for most of us, that is how we grow and get to know what we do or don't want life to be.
Did you know that their is a Doctor in Sydney, that has found the toxin from the bowls in the brain. That this will cause the brain to swell, and people to have depression. So many now are getting good bacteria given into their guts and their depression has gone.
So their can be others reasons fro your mind troubles.
Have you been abused growing up?

That's interesting Diamond and yes I was. My mom passed when I was young, so I'm sure it started there because young children need their mom. Then I was abused by someone who was supposed to protect me. Does this toxin mostly occur in abused people? That would be an interested correlation...

I want to die to

Please dont die.

Dont give up :-(