Equilibrium, Neutrality & Letting Go

Whether out of necessity for self preservation, passage of time while gathering wisdom to quench the fires that burn within. There is a time when one needs to reckon oneself into a state of equilibrium or state of balance.

As a some reptiles shed their skins, to lose what is old in order to grow anew. It initially remains a loss of the known. One may look back from time to time, for it is where we have come, it was home. It nudges us into an unknown future. It is where we have lived for so long; safe, secure, albeit not necessarily healthy but stagnant and frozen in time.

I've always had difficulty accepting 'contentment' for 'happiness'. The two can never be even closely related.
What I believe I have come to accept, is once I've reached equilibrium; neutrality comes along for the ride. These two revelations are preceded first by letting go.

Yes, initially it is a loss, but a loss of the past for a chance to procure a more realistic future with less inner conflict.

Expectations are more realistic at this time. My mind is my greatest asset, for it is where I am able to have short term fantasies of mental & physical intimacy without fear, hesitation, regrets and inner conflicts.

If their is a god or supreme being, I thank him/her. If not, I'm a very fortunate person to be able to say I can still ride two wheels.... one in front of the other as opposed to a vehicle which uses wheels side by side. I am fortunate also to have my friends at EP who are supportive and sometimes my true communication to the outside world. Thank you for your time, patience and understanding as I again pass through a phase of transition. I am who I am; no more, no less.

paco35 paco35
56-60, M
7 Responses Aug 6, 2010

Same here my friend. EP friends have been a life line since finding it a few years rs ago. My friends here are my family. They have been my voice in the dark

My friend, never stop trying, will be worth it.<br />
<br />
And you know about friendship here in EP, because you offer the same in a very meaningful way!<br />
Tks for being my friend. I am honored.

It is a blessing to have a friend like you,<br />
<br />
Have a great ride

TS, thank you for your feedback and comments. Much appreciated. <br />

Pedro, thank you for your comment. <br />
Frito, thank you for you best wishes and friendship. I still don't know if settling for the ' status quo' is a compromise of my principles or letting go of such. I do know; I have less energy to fight battles that come my way wether internal or external. <br />
The blessing is in my mind where a different reality can occur for me. It's how dreams are made. Thank you for reading this entry. <br />

Hi Paco....I wish you godspeed on this journey. ...letting go and making room for the new. <br />
I so want good things for you my friend and I believe you will find them. Hugs and friendship Paco.<br />
Thank you for always being my friend. :)

Sameolstory,<br />
Thank you for your friendship and kind words. I'm thankful the process is one over an extended period of time rather a sudden jolt for my body and mind to accept all at once. I am very fortunate indeed; mostly for EP and my friends here as you. <br />
:) Thank you.