I Am Working To Improve My Marriage
When people ask me, I usually say that I am happily married. I am. Normally it is smooth sailing. We get along well for many years now. We had difficult times. But we were able to handle them and get together again and again and again...
The secret to a good or successful marriage is to constantly work at it. That is a piece of wisdom I took into my marriage from a very good friend, father of 6 children. I was not always good at working. Yes, I must admit that. As good and important as that wisdom sounds, it is so easy to just float and enjoy the sky - so to speak in the image of "sailing".
How can I work at my marriage? I can set aside time for me and my wife. I can plan dates. And I used to do that. I can read books about marriage or read stories here or elsewhere about the experiences of others and become more sensitive for my marriage.
And one important field of work is simply to voice my feelings and wants or desires. That sounds easy. It is easy actually. But it is hard to start, to speak about my feelings, to admit that I want time with her, that I need her. She should know, she should not be reminded. My pride stands in the way and my laziness.
This Sunday I missed my wife in the evening. We had a very busy weekend and no time for us. My wife wanted to look at some photos Sunday evening. I wanted her to sit with me. "Just a short time,“ she said. It lasted quite a while before she came. I kindly said, "I would really like to have more time with you." I was disappointed, felt rejected. Well, I was worn out too and over sensitive. When I voiced my feelings, my wife felt threatened and said that I often spend time in the evening alone too. So why do you complain now? I did not have the strength or love to argue with her. But I was hurt. We talked the next day. She apologized. All is well since then. My wife and I agreed that we need to be more careful to have time together with us having two full time jobs, kids and family and church and other stuff.
We have been working for over 15 years now. It is still difficult at times. But we are determined to continue with the work.
Motto for the bride and groom:
We are a work in progress with a lifetime contract.
-- Phyllis Koss
The secret to a good or successful marriage is to constantly work at it. That is a piece of wisdom I took into my marriage from a very good friend, father of 6 children. I was not always good at working. Yes, I must admit that. As good and important as that wisdom sounds, it is so easy to just float and enjoy the sky - so to speak in the image of "sailing".
How can I work at my marriage? I can set aside time for me and my wife. I can plan dates. And I used to do that. I can read books about marriage or read stories here or elsewhere about the experiences of others and become more sensitive for my marriage.
And one important field of work is simply to voice my feelings and wants or desires. That sounds easy. It is easy actually. But it is hard to start, to speak about my feelings, to admit that I want time with her, that I need her. She should know, she should not be reminded. My pride stands in the way and my laziness.
This Sunday I missed my wife in the evening. We had a very busy weekend and no time for us. My wife wanted to look at some photos Sunday evening. I wanted her to sit with me. "Just a short time,“ she said. It lasted quite a while before she came. I kindly said, "I would really like to have more time with you." I was disappointed, felt rejected. Well, I was worn out too and over sensitive. When I voiced my feelings, my wife felt threatened and said that I often spend time in the evening alone too. So why do you complain now? I did not have the strength or love to argue with her. But I was hurt. We talked the next day. She apologized. All is well since then. My wife and I agreed that we need to be more careful to have time together with us having two full time jobs, kids and family and church and other stuff.
We have been working for over 15 years now. It is still difficult at times. But we are determined to continue with the work.
Motto for the bride and groom:
We are a work in progress with a lifetime contract.
-- Phyllis Koss
By:
Dreammmer
Age:
46-50
,
Male
