My Grandkids Are On Their Way Back Here....

Well, it's come down to the wire now.  The oldest grandbaby, the one who was sent to CA, is scheduled to return on Tuesday the twenty second.  My sister who's been taking excellent care of him doesn't know what he will find when he gets here or where he will live.  Last I heard his mother was living with someone in a public housing complex and that in itself bodes bad for him because my daughter had them hopping from house to house before she had them shipped off for a year.  She can't live in someone elses house in the projects and she can't get a place of her own because she couldn't pay the $700 electric bill that she left from when she had a home and like a fool let it go.  Her rent was paid, she got free food, and her house was all electric and she paid water.  A part time job would have provided enough money for her to keep her utilities going and none of this mess would have happened but no she chose to sit on her behind and get high with her multitude of different men and with her children in the house.  They have seen her get beat on and burned with cigarettes and cussed out and some of everything else and she didn't even care that they were witnessing this AND breathing in the poison from the drugs.  She also does cocaine.  This is the life that my grandchildren left behind when they went elsewhere to live and damnit this is the life that they will come back to.  They just don't understand that their mother doesn't love them enough to give up the drugs and take care of them like she should.  All they know is that they love her and that is what unconditional love in children can do no matter how much they have suffer and will suffer with that irresponsible. drug addicted, selfish woman.  I get very bitter about what she has done to them and the things that I KNOW will happen now that they are coming back.  If only I had the means to take them in myself then I would and I would spare them the misery that awaits them again.  The two youngest are scheduled to return on June 6th.  I am not on speaking terms with my daughter again because she'd started doing drugs again after I'd convinced her to stop for about two weeks.  I was constantly with her and she knows that I don't tolerate her being high around me.  She pushed me away and went back to what she was doing and now the children are returning.  She was a much better person when she wasn't using drugs.  I had actually started believing in her again and she let herself down.  Now I have washed my hands of her.  My concern is strictly for the well being of those three innocent children.  My sister wanted to take all of them and raise them with her husband and my daughter said no.  Here she is acting like she doesn't have children for a year and when my sister says she'll take them and provide for them my daughter says no like she's been towing the line working and is prepared to take responsibility for them. A responsibility that she hadn't taken before!!  It's a bunch of bull.  I am inclined to believe that the reason my daughter wants the children back is to get benefits that she can sell.  It's not about them it's the same selfishness as before.  She's thinking about what she can get with them as her dependents.  She will sell her benefits and not have enough food for the kids and would ask people for food.  It makes no sense at all.  She uses the money to buy drugs or some other unimportant item.  People will say report her and get the kids taken away.  I had considered that before but there are so many foster homes that have children who are sexually abused by the providers who are supposed to protect them and do better for them.  One man raped his foster kids for years and nobody knew until a 12 year old came forward and said she'd been raped by him since she was 5 and I am not even remotely inclined to risk that happening to MY grandchildren.  It might happen anyway if someone else decides to try and force my daughter to be a mother. It'd make a bad situation worse.  Not all foster parents are rapists but who's to say which one the kids will end up with.  I've told my oldest grand baby to call me if he ever needs to get away and that I wanted him to be safe.  He's very responsible and will look after his younger sister and brother and he knows that Grandma will kick *** for them so I am confident that he will come to me if he feels it's necessary.  And yes I have been very active in their lives and have broke my foot off in my daughter behind quite a few times over the years and she's straightened up but drugs keep creeping back in and then she's at it again.  I just got tired after 11 years and things went downhill and the kids got sent away.  I have to wait and see how things fare for the babies and then I will see what I need to do for them. 
Comprehensive2 Comprehensive2
1 Response May 20, 2007

I would be scared to death as well. Has the mother of the kids actually ever gone into rehab? or has she only tried to kick the addiction on her own? It sounds to me like rehab is her only choice if she decides that she AND her children are worth it. Lord knows there are no words of comfort i can offer. Children need to feel safe,but that is not news to you. Is it possible to talk anonymously to people who deal with foster parents and see, if you have to go that route, if there is anyway you can get a report on the families that might take them in? I too fear the foster system, although i know there are MANY foster parents that are FANTASTIC, but sadly it is the luck of the draw, which simply isn't good enough. If your sister is still able to take them can you tell your daughter that they go to your sister, while she is in rehab OR you will be forced to call in the authorities. Would that threat make her act, or is she so self absorbed right now due to the drugs that it wouldn't even register with her? Sorry i think i'm just brain storming right now. Where is the biological father in all of this, he too has a huge responsibility to these children? Can any of the kids friends parents take them in for a bit, just to buy you some time? Can you get gaurdianship of the children, thereby also getting the financial help you would need to get them through this rough spot? I'm sorry for all your worries and pain, and for what your grandchildren will come back too, your daughter needs a wake-up call, where is Dr.Phil when you need him. This will weigh on me, so if i think of anything i will return.