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Moving On

I used to be in love with you for a long time- for years. You were my first love. Maybe I still love you. I may always love you. At least a part of me.
You used to be the most important person in my life. Everything revolved around you. But I don't feel that way anymore.
I no longer have to impress you. I don't have to please you. I don't feel tied to you. But what I'm most proud of is that I don't feel the need to make you love me anymore. That's no longer my only goal. I'm free from that.
I had to tell you this. It's important for my recovery. I'm sorry to say this, but the rejection I faced from you contributed to my eating disorder. It's not your fault. My expectations were too high. I mistook how overly-friendly you were as romantic interest. I didn't realize that's just your personality.
It came as a shock. I needed to deal. I made a mistake.
We could've been good together, Matt. But we're not, we weren't, and that's ok. I've found someone else who loves me. And I love her too. So much. And I'm finally happy.
fishcantblink fishcantblink 18-21, F Feb 9, 2013

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