You'll Never Read This.

Or maybe you will... there was still a lot I didn't know about you.

But you were open with me, and that made me feel important.  When you talked to me, you were talking straight to me and not to anybody else.  I miss the days when you would make me feel like the number one person in your world.

I'm sorry for pushing you away.  I'm sorry for never having been there for you when you were always right there to stand up for me.  I'm so, so, so sorry.  But the worst part is, if I had the chance to do it all again, I probably wouldn't have changed my ways.

I'm like this, and you're like that.  We're so different, yet so alike - and we have all the wrong things in common.  We're both needy, but you're the one who is always ready to tell people what they want to hear.  I've never been able to do that.  I over-think everything, but you... all you need to know is that somebody needs you, and you're there.

I'm sorry that I wasn't there.

I cried when I read your last email - the final goodbye.  I cried because of all the things I didn't do for you, that you did for me.  I cried because I lied and you still don't know it.  I cried because you're so much better than me and I treated you horribly.  I cried because I saw you fighting on your own and didn't come over to help you.  But mostly, I cried because you said you were tired of doing this, which means that you were ending it right there.

You were never my number one.  You were never as important to me as I seemed to be to you.  The only reason I ever reacted to you and loved you back is because you did it first.  I hate myself today, for so many reasons, and I'm so sorry.

I was blessed with your friendship, and broken by your goodbye.

I'm writing this for you, but I'll never be strong enough to show you.

xWhenTheSkyCriesx xWhenTheSkyCriesx
13-15, F
1 Response Feb 7, 2010

Tell him x show him somehow x been a long time now though, I only just joined a couple of moths ago... Hope you are happier now :) xx