My Thought About" Taken In Hand" Second Wedding

This is what I Thought About My "Taken In Hand" Second Wedding.

1) Does the Hindu must convert before marriage?- Yes

2) Does the Hindu must sign a Pre-Nuptial agreement for kids before marriage?- Yes

3) Are Child(ren) from this marriage must be baptized Christians?-Yes

4) Is it okay if the (former) Hindu and the groom have, in addition to the Church wedding, a Hindu wedding? - A Big No,Only Church Wedding.

5) Can the Hindu wife bring Hindu Gods into her new home? -NO

Do the (former) Hindu must believe that Jesus is the only (son of) God? Yes

6) Is it okay if my children are taught about Hinduism, along with Christianity?- No Hinduism,Only Christianity To Be Taught.

7) Can I enter a Hindu temple? Can I eat prasad (offerings from Hindu Gods) when at Husband’s home?- No

8 ) Does the Hindu wife must have a Christian burial? -Yes

Conditions put forward by strict future mother-in-law.
debasree debasree
26-30, F
5 Responses May 24, 2012

Ah yes Bunny... you know all about my beliefs... god forbid (whichever god one believes in) that the author be allowed to acknowledge her past (eat specific food or visit where she used to go to temple to see people she cares about) because she's converted to Christianity. How silly. You can convert and still be "allowed" to acknowledge your past. Plenty of people I know do (coincidentally the friends I am referring to happen to be Hindu and Christian) and it's referred to as tolerance and mutual respect.<br />
<br />
But yeah... you are boring me so by all means knock yourself out and make similar lists for the ones you love. I see no possible reason that this would ever backfire down the road. Cough.

Apples and oranges. Christmas and Hanukkah are not mutually exclusive. Jesus was Jewish!!! Hindus believe in a whole pantheon of gods that are mutually exclusive with Christianity. This is why I say you are respectful only in theory because when it comes to actual beliefs you don't know anything about the things you are talking about.

Even if you do agree to all of this without any reservations. These issues are between you and him, not you and his mother.<br />
<br />
But I guess in the end if you are okay with his mother controlling your marriage and eventually your life and the life of your kids then so be it.<br />
<br />
But if your are not happy with her involvement then I see nothing but unhappiness for you and your family.

Oh hell no. You are still a human being; you aren't a robot. You can't go to temple or eat certain foods? That's disregarding who you are as a person and what your past/history is, even if you convert. These are big changes for you in your belief system. A person does not cease to exist because they get married.<br />
<br />
I'm curious: How can this guy lead you if he can't stand up to his mother? Why does she get a say in this at all?

lol Camille...she asked, I answered. Ain't my life. If she and her hubby to be are prepared to have the mother in law submit a list to them that they have to follow, more power to them.

Who is in charge here the Mother-in-law or her son? <br />
<br />
I would put all those conditions forward too but I would not let my mom run my life. That is even more embarrassing than letting a wife run your life.

Bunnyhunterz you are so nice honey in answering.thanks.

You would put forth these conditions? She can't eat certain foods or go to her old place of worship even if she converts?

Yes I would. The dietary thing is only important because of the religious significance.
These are all well established precepts of Christian faith. The guy you want to argue with here, is Paul.

I'd find a way to incorporate both religions so any potential children learn of both their parents' backgrounds. I live in a very multicultural city where a number of friends from different faiths have married. Most weddings have honoured both backgrounds in some manner. I wouldn't accept or issue a list from/to anyone. I also think there is a difference between what two partners decide and what the mother in-law feels her place is.

To most people religion is more important than that. I am sure you have one of those coexist bumper stickers and peace signs on your car. If you aren't Christian then you can't really understand.

I simply respect other religions and don't feel that someones history should be "banished" due to a mother in law.

No you don't. You aren't even listening here. You respect religions in theory only but religions are serious business to their adherents and you are being very dismissive of actual religion with everything you have said here. Sometimes you have to respect the fact that they are mutually exclusive. You cannot believe in Hinduism and Christianity at the same time. To become a Christian and then go back to Hindu practices is really not any different than never becoming a Christian. You don't get it. I am telling you that you don't get it. You are ignorant and blind to what religion means to those who believe in it. Hinduism and Christianity cannot coexist in the same place.

Well, this is mature. If you'd be ok with a potential mother in law giving you a list of what you need to do regarding religion, that's cool. But if you can't even ENTER your former temple, or mention/teach your children what you grew up with as your core belief system (even if you choose to raise them to a different one) that's where intolerance comes in. Many people in this situation celebrate varying holidays, ex: Christmas/Hanukkah. They explain different belief systems to their kids. Nowhere did the author say she wanted to "go back" to Hinduism if she converted to Christianity. She has simply shared that part of this "list" includes not being able to eat certain foods or go into her former place of worship. It's not a matter of "believing" in two religions at the same time, but attempting to obliterate one partners history. But it ain't my life...if someone is ok with their mother in law doing this, I wish them well.

5 More Responses