I Like Annes - For A Reason

I have a special liking for women called Anne, not least of all because I have a much loved and cherished Aunt Anne who has had a significant influence over me - more so than she probably realises.

One of my favourite memories of her dates back several years to the time she debunked the myth that women don't fart and, in fact, nearly pooed her pants. It happened like this.

Aunt Anne happened to be visiting and one Sunday morning I came home to find her sitting, talking in the kitchen with my mother and grandmother.

After a while my Aunt Anne broke wind and at first I thought that's all it was. However, she carried on farting and I soon realised that she needed a poo and badly. I was too polite to say anything about it and so were the others present.

As time passed by she was farting nineteen to the dozen whilst remaining as cool as a cucumber from the waist upwards. The smell and noises coming from under her skirt were powerful to say the least. Luckily it was more the 'stewed veg' variety than the 'rotten egg' one.

This carried on for about half an hour and just as I thought Aunt Anne was about to poo herself she got up, said "Excuse me," and hurried to the outside toilet which, luckily for her, wasn't too far away. As luck would have it, Aunt Anne managed to get to the loo in time and, barely making it, narrowly avoided an accident.

Since then I've often wondered what it would have been like if she'd left it a moment too long and messed herself. It was certainly a close run thing though. Another thirty seconds would, I’m sure, have made a big difference.

I love Aunt Anne very much though and this story is in no way a criticism of her.

She had no way of knowing it at the time but the above made a deep impression on me and I've since gone on to write several short stories about a toilet accident prone housewife called Anne.

Adrian6970Anne Adrian6970Anne
46-50, M
Sep 19, 2012