Bully And Bullied

Throughout my whole life, I have been bullied but I consider that I have also bullied others. I was always stereotyped as the nerd guy, the smart-***, people would only talk to me to ask for favours or to say mean things behind my back. At first, I didn't really care, but then I started feeling hurt and in my irrational-child brain, I decided to become a bully so people won't bully me, and even though I did somewhat bully people (not as far as pushing them up against the walls, etc) but mostly verbal bullying. And in the moment I realised that what I was doing was wrong, I stopped, now, I'm in university, and I just wanted to be another face in the crowd, I wanted to be like an outsider, the lonely guy no ones knows of, but given that i get really high grades and teachers normally ask me to explain others in classes (I don't know why, this is supposed to be university not school), people know me and know that I'm smart and that stuff, and even though they don't do really mean things, they still only talk to me when they need something from me, or they would joke about how they will never get a higher grade than me, or that if I put too much effort on something that I'm being pretentious and I sometimes, can't contain the feeling and tend to say comebacks when I know I shouldn't. I don't want to become the person who attacks others to protect myself.

I rather be all by myself, than being surrounded by 'friends' who don't do any good to me.

Skyrer Skyrer
1 Response Sep 15, 2012

I just posted on this very thing - and it sounds like you've gone a long way towards seeing the flaws (motes in thine eye) within yourself. The post I put is below.

A different approach:

The main focus does not need to be on helping the vicitims, though they indeed deserve all the help we can give...

Nor does the main focus need to be on dealing with the bullies, though something indeed must be done about those currently guilty...

To stop it, the main focus needs to be on ourselves - it is OUR society which breeds bullies.

Violence in movies, in sports, in news packed from first minute to last with the horrors men practice against their fellow man...

See a problem society? Look in the mirror and be your own best (if you can be 100% honest) judge of how you contribute. Hey dad! Do you cheer on that hockey fight in front of your teenage son? Mom? Swear and curse and state how the neighbor is such a dummy in front of your daughter?

Remove the mote from thine own eye.